Scapegoated for reporting

[jfz9580m]

70. Pathetic But Dislike is not Enough

Last edited Sun May 17, 2026, 02:43 AM - Edit history (6)

To trash people who in their contexts are better than even worse people.


I am pretty unforgiving. With the exception of my mentor who was unfair to me, I mostly disliked the people in two labs at my last workplace.

It is a model of cooperation with people one dislikes and doesn’t respect.
I didn’t actually dislike the people at the first residence I stayed. They were nice people. Anti-abortion Bible Bangers (:facepalm but unambiguously nice people I am happy to support as long as I can file a complaint against the city. The mom was a decent woman and the daughter the kind of girl I like as opposed to a Splashy little ..odd..

But if they are not cartoons, neither am I. I am filing allegations of serious misconduct against the city and state I live in and that one.
But as I would. I don’t break things or people, but my lab was kind of hideously slow.
If they were faster they would not be conned by those people ya? It is all about the science.

But if my pi was academic family, the guy adjacent wasn’t. He should retire and go to industry and read Haidt and Freakonomics and keep his pathetic and catty network away from me. I notice a lot since I am not going to go and look and someone who is servile to catty people and pis and throws real friends overboard is someone overboard is not someone I would trust ever. I have never done anything like that. I was never very honest with myself and now I have gotten into the habit of hiding so much in every form of self defense/

What is the point in losing the things that make me who I am - I am sensitive, frugal, never knowingly dishonest, knowingly hateful and I am robotically insistent that bad science cannot pass. Then it is not science. It is not politics or day to day caregiving.

These guys who fucking buy islands or are so stupid they want colonies on Mars to make up for an obviously very unhappy childhoods. When I saw a prominent billionaire’s father I felt genuine sympathy for him. A dad who is a child abuser would fuck you up.
I felt the sympathy I never felt for those other creeps. I don’t know what I would do without my parents. I am an only child. I was never very spoilt so my parents were sympathetic till my last job.
Now none of it seems to matter.

There was a girl in that pathetic turd’s lab who I could see having a mistrustful collegial relationship with. She would be a bridge to helping the precious careers of some people I wish well though contemptuously.
Bossing and no understanding of your own prejudices and this pathetic attempt to seem non biased by choosing people who will clean up after you while throwing people under the bus.

These are none of them people we would allow into the middle. They can suck up to bosses. Best place for them.

My ex and I will never get back together because we are both happy with work and community service that is voluntary not a rubber stamp.
If they had asked I would have cheerfully helped without ascribing such things maniacally to China.

I don’t ascribe these creeps to anything but the last govt. The centre will exploit plausible deniability. But I can accept that as long as the actual people who did this are shut down asap and targeting the correct people in every system.
Who speaks to me?

I have only enough forebearance for people who negatively impacted me. It is a fixed amount. None of which can go to that guy. I don’t know about his kids.
Hey i know for whom I would talk to people with awful parents.



But they should apologize decently and gtfo of my way. But for all that for what they are they are better than some creep who would grope women. That doesn’t mean they come and drag some old turd’s-ie their fucking Pinker humping jackass of a pi into my lane. God I hate that guy.


This society is full of bs. Stephen King’s Dark Half. The Musk impersonator thinks I am boring?
That is because this is demeaning to a lot of women I will never know. But I can say that it is largely a trap to see yourself as tough or oppressed. The minute you have a voice you will no longer be processed as oppressed.

I was never oppressed. I was depressed by the constraints of my friends on the left. My real friends.
I saw a doctor years ago. He had potential. No not as anything but a partner in clean up operations.

The purpose of clean up is to lower the strain

Something needs to be understood fast about “DEI” and “woke” capitalism. It attracts either legitimately talented women like Timnit Gebru who at some point suffered from the common delusion that changing the world is easy.

You see there will be the moment when people go “oh i see it”
Then they will return to the rigors

If you exploited me at least use it for its purpose which is not s show or movie or game. It is which spooks, business people, randoms etc I will give a bare pass to and who will pay with steep targeted professional repercussions and who will risk prison and who will actually go to prison

No one I care about or give a bare pass to irl can risk anything with this little info.
You would like me if you knew me 🥺


No that’s all me. Yasha Levine and Current Affairs have to permit me to stray into areas I normally label risky. I recently started following The Forward and EvolutionIsTrue.

No science can be complete without following all acceptable perspectives. I filter out stuff I flag drivel (paying extra attention when it is not merely drivel but rather than being

I feel so isolated sometimes because I am looking for not stupid and I hate cattiness. From my dungeon I like to get a giggle about Sam Miller writing an entire oped about menswear. That was totally not fake and it was him not a body changer. These guys do so much with so little …he, Troy Farah etc.

I reached out to the host of this forum whom I have always liked and who I wish would know that even if all the vocal idiots take certain positions, it doesn’t make them anything but phonies whose wake up calls I have no sympathy over except when they are dangerous to everyone you cannot insult them

And such people are different from the self servingly sleazy.
Yesterday was stupid.

None of these people have any respect for me and they never did and it gets old. But eventually it also gets to the point where I will always have the demeaned status of an amusing housecat or a fake bad person the stupid can vent their spleen on for their errors as they disgracefully thrash around.
These are hard won insights from life you don’t hand over to some ugly and disgraceful.
Who still should not suffer draconian consequences- it should be commensurate and exact.

It is never a quid pro quo. I have always had a quiet affinity for ..psychotica
But it isn’t bullshit. I am tired. I don’t like to admit it. Then I sound like people I avoid.
And I am not thin skinned with people at least associated with people I have such robust regard for that..
Diamond hard.. why?
The first grad student I met made hard work seem appetising.
This hack like trash. Affectiva, lie detectors

I don’t buy cs people who pile on to social. I don’t think women I trust or like are ever very visible.

I somehow resent it even more women steal from me as I cannot get into a disgraceful cat fight and they will see things men one hopes won’t understand. I suppose I resent it least .


I used to joke that I need a gay male basement to hide in.
I hate people taking stuff I would gladly give selectively.


The good news is I have earned complainant status without the marijuana industry needing to take a hit that should be taken by a subset of psychiatrists and gamers and dirty cops.
I will be pushing for that.

I know one is supposed to say that everyone is biased, but how or why makes all the difference.
You will be less stressed if you are

But I won’t absorb other people’s bs anymore.

What is pathetic is not having the self awareness to not project.

I think infidelity, misconduct etc are deal breakers. The closest I ever came was stall for time and delaying divorce as we were basically just splitting rent and the final wrench was hard.
There are things that are red flags too major for trust.
Like not getting informed consent up front.

It is lucky that it was me. No amount of magic trickery can change the essential lack of class and decency.

I am not anything special but it is never a quid pro quo or sleazy (my mom’s favorite word. Mom was very particular about women paying their way but she couldn’t manage in physics and after she went to a type of bank she was never again happy in her work and she always wanted me to make it in science. Which I am going to keep trying using my resources not a penny of which will I share or throw away.
Every complaint is on the table locally.


Except wrt my medical mj co and my two doctors amd without a show.
You will face allegations of serious sexual harassment when you attack me.
This is at a scale where you won’t be able to make me out to be vanilla or a joke or a villain or use self loathing rot you force being lousy.

But oh dear! The whole world knows what my mentor could read easily..another mediocre postdoc. Omg 🙀


As for the fire on this side of a street, you will be lucky if it is only a fire and not worse.
I am not a rioter or the police or in a movie.
I cannot afford this bullshit.

But i got sucked into this and i am a realist and take my real and virtual experiences as more meaningful than others and if i made an error i do scrutinize as thats my only way to be sure that wont happen again.

I think these methods are pathetic. A tonne of data centres. Or trying to creepily copy stuff

Or hack like.
No finesse. My friends tease me because they know me well and know what I am thinking without having to collect stool samples,

My ex and I loved and love each other. But communication was always hard. He is changing. He was taught to be like that as was Ii.

We were taught to be honest by being clunky.
But when there is a real group of peope who don’t get which context ehst applies in and gige away your stuff to other people/
I learnt a lot/
Hey guy..isn’t that south park?
I won’t like it. I will need to know. Wtf

The time for inept and confusing subterfuge is over.
Please don’t bring in more.
There is a real overlap collaboratively when someone can end this ensuring nothig decent is thrown away and everythint indecent and lazy addressed and no more please.
Element of surprise aside

Its never really over - that is me own head. But the worst of it is. No queue jumping. I don’t.