History of Feminism

cinnabonbon

(860 posts)

9. The soft no is used against women.

Mon Mar 3, 2014, 05:02 PM

Mar 2014

I remember how guys said that if women weren't "clear" about their 'no's, then how could they know they were rejected? It was really frustrating, because you KNOW they understand it's a socially acceptable refusal, they just refuse to accept it. They're exploiting the fact that society has taught us to coddle their egos instead of protecting our boundaries.

We should totally have a HOF post about it. I'm going to see if I can find the article you're talking about, too, because I think I remember it.

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BainsBane pointed out how many women said "Sorry" when rejecting the dude in that video (HOF THREAD) [View all] redqueen Mar 2014 OP

You and Bains are right. It is so ingrained in me that I don't even hear it. n/t seaglass Mar 2014 #1

Exactly, it is very deeply ingrained. redqueen Mar 2014 #4

I didn't see the video ismnotwasm Mar 2014 #2

Not even a tiny bit. nt redqueen Mar 2014 #3

It's the soft no. KitSileya Mar 2014 #5

I'd love to read it. redqueen Mar 2014 #6

there's quite a bit about that in Captain Awkward's advice column/ blog bettyellen Mar 2014 #7

It is found, with a lot of help from a Shaker. KitSileya Mar 2014 #8

"The answer is to change the culture" ismnotwasm Mar 2014 #10

The ones who claim to strike out because they are "nice guys" BainsBane Mar 2014 #11

The soft no is used against women. cinnabonbon Mar 2014 #9