Nursing Home Defends Rapist Employee: 89-Year-Old Victim Was A 'Flirt'

[DURHAM D]

11. My Mother spent the last two years of her life in a Memory Unit.

They would not even allow my father to walk her to his apartment in the same building because they thought he might take advantage of her. They had been married for 67 years and it was a good and very loving marriage. This was upsetting for my father because he thought she needed to get out of the unit and get some exercise, plus he really wanted to feed her lunch because she was not eating well. After lunch he wanted to take a short nap with her, something they had done every day for 30 years.

When the situation first developed us kids thought it was kind of amusing given the nature of their relationship so all of us talked to management and tried to convince them that he would be responsible and careful. Given that Alzheimer's patients sort of forget backwards we laughed to ourselves that if "it" happened it might transport her/them back in time and be a pleasant experience.

Eventually we (the kids) signed a written agreement that the facility would not be held responsible if something happened. My father was legally in charge (and wrote the big fat check every month) but they would not accept a hold harmless agreement from him because he was older than my mother.

We came to understand and appreciate the basic position of the facility which is that a patient with dementia can not give consent.