Living in Asia for 20 years with most of that time in Thailand I was struck by not only how different they viewed death and the afterlife, but by how different it was from what was commonly characterized in the West.
Their understanding of the world is not an act of faith, like it is in the West, where one endeavors to study and accept a doctrine.
They simply understand in reincarnation in the same way that we understand the Sun will rise in the East and set in the West.
It is simply part of the landscape.
I was surprised at how little they spoke of reincarnation. Anyone who claims to remember passed lives is considered a charlatan. While they think that all beings are related they really don't put much weight into animals reincarnating up or we reincarnating down, although it might be theoretically possible.
As science progresses we begin to understand that there may be different forms of reincarnation. We now know that our genes are 'reincarnated'.
In the same way our 'body' is reincarnated if we understand our body not to be the physical body but the body of our being, like Shakespeare's plays are the body of his writing. All of these years you have been putting together your body of work, inspiring and encouraging. That body will be reincarnated into your family and friends life experiences and continue to live.
You have one additional chance to add to that body and that is by continuing to be brave and hopeful and share your love with those that love you.
Will your soul be held and be given another vessel. We don't know and if it is you will not be able to remember this cycle.
So you can still be the author of the last chapter of this cycle, this body. You might be able to show a path that others will want to follow when their time comes. This might be the best chapter of your body of work.
I don't know that if you are able to travel but if you are and would like to consult with an American Monk I would strongly recommend that you investigate:
http://watmetta.org/
It is in Escondido and they have a lodge that you can stay free with a sleeping bag and meditate and consult with the Abbot Jeff.
I hope that you find the peace that you are looking for.
Namaste, my friend.
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