Bereavement

kairos12

(13,574 posts)

48. I lost my wife of 40 years three years ago.

Thu Mar 19, 2026, 07:04 PM

Mar 19

I don't have a lot of advice. A few things that helped me. First, I have to answer the question who am I without her. Still working on that. Second, in terms of how I view her: I don't see her as a past memory, I don't see her as a future, I see her beside me. Everyday. I also look at grief as unexpressed love. I can live with that.

Last, I use the mantra "the only easy day, was yesterday."

I send you peace and strength.

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EuterpeThelo Wild blueberry

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I thought it would get better by now. Husband died 2-6 and I still can't sleep and must force [View all] Ziggysmom Mar 19 OP

(((((Hugs)))) applegrove Mar 19 #1

Hugs back at you! Ziggysmom Mar 19 #22

Wishing you peace for your broken heart 💔 Chat wit us..you may be by yourself but you're not alone 🌺 Deuxcents Mar 19 #2

Thank you, wishing for peace for the world. Ziggysmom Mar 19 #24

I hope it gets easier for you soon. There is no time frame for grief. LoisB Mar 19 #3

I am learning a lot from this forum. Was feeling really low today, but now I Ziggysmom Mar 19 #25

I am sorry. I am most certainly no expert and my professional training is not in that area but hlthe2b Mar 19 #4

This sounds like it would be very helpful. Joinfortmill Mar 19 #9

Thank you for sharing. I'm in Wisconsin waiting for the weather to cooperate so I can get out more. Ziggysmom Mar 19 #30

If you are physically up to it, cross country skiing on public golf courses in winter is another hlthe2b Mar 19 #32

Sunlight on the eyes IbogaProject Friday #74

When my partner died back in 2011... pat_k Friday #82

I remember Senator... I somehow missed his inclusion in the "Memoriam" page for 2011 so hlthe2b Friday #84

Understandable blm Mar 19 #5

Contact your local hospice for bereavement counseling SheltieLover Mar 19 #6

I joined a hospice group when my dad died Tree Lady Mar 19 #28

Yes, groups are incredibly powerful! SheltieLover Mar 19 #39

It's still very, very early. And grief is very different than depression. I know it's really Scrivener7 Mar 19 #7

Prayed for you. Grief is painful. Joinfortmill Mar 19 #8

Buy a marble cover composition book and journal it out bucolic_frolic Mar 19 #10

Thank you. My daughter has polycystic kidney disease and Dr. Bergs keto diet really helps Ziggysmom Mar 19 #36

I lost my son a little over 4 years ago crimycarny Mar 19 #11

Those two words said it all. GRIEF ILLITERATE. We get three whole days of bereavement leave Ziggysmom Mar 19 #41

I swear if I heard "you're so strong" one more time crimycarny Mar 19 #59

One of my friends lost a child to suicide Marthe48 Friday #71

Second the motion EuterpeThelo Friday #69

Be kind to yourself and give yourself some slack. Grief never just goes away, it just Marie Marie Mar 19 #12

I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom. Diamond_Dog Mar 19 #13

It's too soon Lulu KC Mar 19 #14

Ziggysmom... dlilafae Mar 19 #15

When my fiance died suddenly in his early 30s, I walked the same trail every day for a year. femmedem Mar 19 #16

Grieve is a journey. traveler50 Mar 19 #17

It is difficult to move on. A lttle over a month is pretty fast. Fla Dem Mar 19 #18

I am so terribly sorry. Trueblue Texan Mar 19 #19

DU Hug!!! Ponietz Mar 19 #20

I can't even imagine how it feels Tesha Mar 19 #21

I almost completely stopped eating for 3 years cpamomfromtexas Mar 19 #23

Grief is a very personal process BigmanPigman Mar 19 #26

Good thoughts and advice. yellow dahlia Mar 19 #37

❤️ underpants Mar 19 #27

Its only been about 6 weeks BonnieJW Mar 19 #29

Sending a virtual hug Tree Lady Mar 19 #31

(((gentle hug))) 🫂 mwmisses4289 Mar 19 #33

Everything's harder in this environment. yellow dahlia Mar 19 #34

Hey Ziggysmom! Once again I realize just how VALUABLE this place is. calimary Mar 19 #35

I'd so sorry for your loss kimbutgar Mar 19 #38

"" AllaN01Bear Mar 19 #40

THANK YOU EVERYONE! Everyone will experience grief in their lifetime. It should not be Ziggysmom Mar 19 #42

hitthe2b is right, go outside Figarosmom Mar 19 #43

I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom. HeartsCanHope Mar 19 #44

Huggggggs, my friend and please be kind and gentle and loving niyad Mar 19 #45

Oh my dear Ziggysmom, My heart hurts for you as you are inching your way through this journey that was suddenly thrust KitFox Mar 19 #46

My deepest condolences to you. I share Hassler Mar 19 #47

I lost my wife of 40 years three years ago. kairos12 Mar 19 #48

I'm sorry you are going through this Danmel Mar 19 #49

I am sorry for what you are gooing through and hope that you find some solace with it all soon. marked50 Mar 19 #50

I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom... Bayard Mar 19 #51

It took me 7 years to feel better synni Mar 19 #52

Dear Ziggysmom, here is what helped me when my beloved died in October. MLAA Mar 19 #53

.... chowder66 Mar 19 #54

you're being too hard on yourself Skittles Mar 19 #55

I am so sorry. BlueKota Mar 19 #56

Two of the very best ways to deal with grief for me, JMCKUSICK Mar 19 #57

This community is here for you. Moostache Mar 19 #58

{{ Hugs }} EKR's books helped me understand the physical component of grief GreatGazoo Mar 19 #60

I'm so sorry, Ziggysmom. highplainsdem Mar 19 #61

That's not that long malaise Mar 19 #62

Hugs my friend. Dunc Friday #63

lost my hubby almost two years ago. SleeplessinSoCal Friday #64

it is only a month. give it time. rampartd Friday #65

Last night I was watching a documentary about Jane Austen mnhtnbb Friday #66

I hope you find some peace and comfort JoseBalow Friday #67

Oh, Ziggysmom EuterpeThelo Friday #68

Sending you love gademocrat7 Friday #70

My husband died in 2017 Marthe48 Friday #72

My wife died 9/17/25 TexLaProgressive Friday #73

I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you love in a difficult time. 58Sunliner Friday #75

It will get better spinbaby Friday #76

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and I am concerned over your struggle dealing with that loss. ... marble falls Friday #77

One foot in front of the other foot. The pain is real no doubt but just "doing things" Will help. Botany Friday #78

I am so sorry for your loss. It took me over 4 years to feel "normal" again after my husbands death. maptap22 Friday #79

There is no timeline for grief dlk Friday #80

It will be nine years next month, and I still get tears in my eyes when a certain song comes on tavernier Friday #81

Been there, done that and a word of caution. Momma Friday #83

Sending a big hug Wild blueberry Friday #85