Looking for advice, bereavement related.

[Coventina]

As some might know, as I announced it a few weeks ago, my FIL recently passed away.

Since then, my husband has been extremely short-tempered, borderline abusive to me. He blows up over the littlest thing, and says extremely hurtful, intentionally wounding things to me. (He knows my insecurities and savagely exploits them).

I would brush this off as a temporary reaction to his father's death (anger being part of the grieving process and all), but it is so out of character for him.

Also, my sister's marriage ended after her husband's father died. To be fair, they had more marital issues going into that, but after his dad died, my brother-in-law went really off the rails and went full on psycho-abuser. She had to divorce him, and it was super ugly, so I'm a little spooked.

Is this a thing men go through when their dads die? Is this just bad synchronicity?

I lost my mom in 2003, and I was really angry about it (still am, actually) but I didn't take it out on my loved ones.

I love my husband, and he's usually a great guy, I just don't recognize him anymore.