everyone grieves in their own way and time. do not feel guilty when you don't pick up the phone or respond to the text. if she gets hurt then she makes this about her and it's not about her; you lost your husband. you don't "owe" her the opportunity to make this better for you and it is probably not possible anyway. let yourself be you and deal with this as you must.
back in grief counseling i was told that when people said inappropriate things i should pat them on the shoulder and say, "you'll be okay." many times people who mean well just don't know the right thing to do to comfort you. sometimes they say things that are so far from the right thing it's amazing. it's not the intent; they're uncomfortable. then there are those who stay away or avoid the subject. some made me feel contagious, as if they thought by spending too much time near me their children might die too.
your sister's issues should not distract or impede you from dealing with your grief in the way that works best for you. no shortcuts.
it has not been very long at all since your husband passed away. at some point you may find yourself feeling it more acutely than you do today. i found grief counseling very helpful, and writing. my group consisted of loved ones of homicide victims. it can be very comforting to be near people who have suffered a similar loss. just some things to think about.
again, i am so sorry for your loss 
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