Half of grief is physical

[GreatGazoo]

I don't the exact ratio and it must vary between people but for me there is a strong physical component to grief.

I am traveling to see my father in hospice care as he slips away. I vary between a kind of numb auto-pilot and an energyless state of overwhelming depression.

During the hospice of my mother 8 years ago I was greatly aided by Elizabeth Kubler Ross' book "On Grief and Grieving" As she states in the book, grief is a process as opaque and unstoppable as puberty (as unique and complex as our connection what or whom was lost and we grieve not only for the loss of the person but for the dreams and plans that will never be). I shared hospice duties with my sister and thankfully there was a swimming pool right across the street. To swim in that water every day for just 20 minutes was such a blessing as it calmed and physically exhausted me.

I am fortunate with my father, both parents really, that I got a warning and have had time to get as used to the idea as I can be. My father is glassy eyed and in the last stages of Lewy Body. I have told him a thousand times and in many ways how much I love him and value all he has given me, mostly experiences and knowledge. But I will try to get there before the end comes and tell him one more time but I am half floating and half dragging myself there with my heart in my throat.

We can't stop or avoid the grieving process but understanding more about it helped me greatly. I try my best to eat enough and get good sleep. My dogs help as well. I always recommend for others that they take care of themselves when grieving -- we can change emotions but we can nurture our own health and learn to live with grief.