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OK this one is the best
I was walking in the CBPO in fatigues and a man I knew to be a staff sergeant abruptly stepped in front of me and whispered very loudly, "Look at you wearing all green BUT I BET YOU'RE PURTY PINK INSIDE". Thing was, he was wearing shorts and sandals and I was wearing COMBAT BOOTS. So I raised my foot high and SMASHED his toes. He started screaming YOU BITCH YOU BITCH and that's when I kicked him REALLY HARD in the shin.
A couple of days later I saw him hobbling around base and I yelled HEY PERVERT, HOW'S YOUR FOOT? HAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHA. 
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