Mental Health Support

Still Blue in PDX

(1,999 posts)

36. Checking in . . .

Wed Aug 13, 2014, 08:20 PM

Aug 2014

I've been treated for years with low-dose Prozac, and I don't know if it helps much, but since I've starting taking it faithfully again I haven't had the passive suicidal thoughts. I also take clonazepam for restless leg syndrome, and I think it has a secondary effect of keeping the anxiety at bay.

I've considered suicide. What keeps me here is that my precious gray-faced dog would miss me. Also, there would be no life insurance payout and my husband couldn't afford our mortgage payment without my income. Another thing is that one of the worst times of my life was when my mom died, and I don't want to put my kids through that.

Robin Williams' death has hit me like a ton of bricks. I am so sad that he couldn't see a better day ahead.

My diagnosis is major depression, moderate. I guess that's the difference between moderate and severe: I know that the bad days pass and I can hold on by my fingernails until that happens.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

49 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

HeY! check in! [View all] irisblue Aug 2014 OP

I do as well rox63 Aug 2014 #1

thank you sister irisblue Aug 2014 #2

((rox63)) irisblue Aug 2014 #12

holding my head above a shitstorm. mopinko Aug 2014 #3

((mopinok)) irisblue Aug 2014 #11

thank you mopinko for checking in irisblue Aug 2014 #4

i have been really sick, too. mopinko Aug 2014 #26

Mo, you have children. murielm99 Aug 2014 #34

that has totally kept me going all these years. mopinko Aug 2014 #35

Give it time. murielm99 Aug 2014 #43

i am hoping to come back as a dog myself. mopinko Aug 2014 #44

I have Depression libodem Aug 2014 #5

thank you for checking in irisblue Aug 2014 #6

Thanks for rallying the group libodem Aug 2014 #13

I am slowly learning not to give a hoot about what others think irisblue Aug 2014 #17

I try not to care libodem Aug 2014 #30

I have the whiner fear as well, libodem ThingsGottaChange Aug 2014 #23

It is a good chance to practice our listening skills libodem Aug 2014 #24

so funny you say that. mopinko Aug 2014 #27

((libodem)) irisblue Aug 2014 #10

I'm very sad about this. hunter Aug 2014 #7

thank you for checking in irisblue Aug 2014 #8

here is to the glow of a friendship burning behind you. mopinko Aug 2014 #28

I rarely post ThingsGottaChange Aug 2014 #9

A celebrity death libodem Aug 2014 #14

It's not so much that it's a celebrity ThingsGottaChange Aug 2014 #20

((things gotta change)) irisblue Aug 2014 #15

Iris is my favorite flower :-) ThingsGottaChange Aug 2014 #22

i love irises, too. mopinko Aug 2014 #32

he was a part of growing up for me. mopinko Aug 2014 #31

I have major depression, anxiety, and panic disorder. Terra Alta Aug 2014 #16

((Terra Alta)) irisblue Aug 2014 #18

hey there ta mopinko Aug 2014 #46

checking in fizzgig Aug 2014 #19

((fizz)) irisblue Aug 2014 #21

i haven't really had a good night's sleep in two weeks fizzgig Aug 2014 #25

sleep is all. mopinko Aug 2014 #29

still checking on y'all... irisblue Aug 2014 #33

Checking in . . . Still Blue in PDX Aug 2014 #36

((still blue)) irisblue Aug 2014 #37

4am a la izquierda Aug 2014 #38

((a la izquierda)) irisblue Aug 2014 #39

Thanks, I probably will a la izquierda Aug 2014 #40

hang in there friend. how did it go? mopinko Aug 2014 #45

I'm about five hours from my family... a la izquierda Aug 2014 #48

huge panic attack today irisblue Aug 2014 #41

yes you will mopinko Aug 2014 #47

Still alive. A wee bit hypomanic and loving it. Dreading the cycle back around though. GreenPartyVoter Aug 2014 #42

grab what you can, i guess. mopinko Aug 2014 #49