Glad I don't have much longer. (POSSIBLE TRIGGER)

[OldBaldy1701E]

18. Oh, I feel I value myself okay.

It is society that has shown that it does not value me. By deciding that I should suffer until I perish is certain proof in my eyes. By saying that they cannot help me when I did all I could to help them. I can value myself all I want, but when no one else will, what is the chance for survival? How can one even attempt to? I fall into the category of people who are hearing about freaking 'Running Man*' scenarios. I don't stand a chance in such a scene.

You want to know how naive and gullible I was when it came to this country? There were several times over the years where I did my taxes, saw that I was going to get back a measly hundred bucks or so, and decided to just ignore it because the government needed money all the time. I was very young then. Young and delusional. I was deluded for most of my entire childhood (thanks to my mother's games) and then the propaganda took over from there. What a fool I was.

*A story by Stephen King in his book 'The Bachman Books', which is a compilation of short novellas he wrote over the years. The referenced story is about a dystopian future where the poor compete for survival and prizes on television programs for the entertainment of the elite. The environment is now ruined and the elite wear breathing protection that most of the rest of the people cannot afford. The lower people work and live in programmed squalor while the rest live it up.