My Dad was a very successful autistic person, caring in his own way, and although that presented challenges I could accept and work with his black and white world better than I could my two sisters, fairy tale world, unbelieveably good, tagically bad and mixed with real.
It is hard to love someone and not be able to find a way to have a relationship that is not more negative than positive. They are not speaking to me right now after my Dad's death because I won't embrace their fantasies around my Dad's death. This is not a matter of opinion as to what happened they have whole events that never happened and my other siblings are equally struggling with this as they is not talking to them yet (except an occasional email or telephone one sided rant) either, because we acknowledge that they are hurting and some of the pain does come from the delusion (we call it a misunderstanding so as not to hit a hot button), we love them anyway and want to move forward with love, but we cannot embrace the delusions and that is what they are both demanding right now. As far as I know they are not speaking either since they do not share each others delusions. I respect that both of them have survived, achieved short bursts of real success and battled the dark side that has haunted them their whole lives. Right now love and respect are not enough for either of them, their exact words. So I don't know what to do other than let things be and hope that they can work through it eventually.
By the time I get the answers in life I need it may be over and in todays world we are not allowed to impart unsolicited advice to the generations after us and that seems such a shame that the grandchildren, nieces and nephews keep gong through the same nightmares when there are better ways to live with mental illness. Even as a kid I sought out older relatives that seemed to be compassionate and that were respected in the family by most to see how they dealt with grandpa or auntie or cousin Izzy. But mental health, expectations are fluid so what worked before medicines and todays specialized therapies (unavailable to many) may not be the way to go today or tomorrow.
It doesn't help that we have a whole political party that seems to thrive on a kind of mass delusions and the refuge for our increasingly miserable lives because of their policies has become fundamentalist religion.
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