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[hunter]

3. Don't swim against the riptide...

... we all learned that as toddlers in my large extended family.

Escaping a rip current

A swimmer caught in a rip current should not attempt to swim back to shore directly against the rip. This risks exhaustion and drowning. A rip does not pull a swimmer under water; it carries the swimmer away from the shore in a narrow channel of water.[1] The rip is like a treadmill which the swimmer needs to step off. The swimmer should remain calm and swim parallel to the shore until he or she is outside of the current. Then, locations to aim for are places where waves are breaking. In these areas, floating objects are generally transported towards the shore.

A swimmer in a strong rip, who is unable to swim away from it, should relax and calmly float or tread water to conserve energy. Eventually the rip will lose strength, and the swimmer can swim at a leisurely pace, in a diagonal direction, away from the rip but back to shore. Coastal swimmers should understand the danger of rip currents, learn how to recognize them and how to escape from them, and swim in areas where lifeguards are operating, whenever possible.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riptide

Our family lives on the shores of an ocean of crazy and plays happily for the most part in the surf.

One of my grandmas was a deep sucking vortex of insanity -- anyone drawn into her personal reality was doomed.

I think I was her favorite because she couldn't suck me in, not even a little bit. My own autistic reality was impenetrable by her demons. She could make me a sandwich covered in shit crazy germs and I could eat it, leaving the crazy on the plate like a kid who doesn't like bread crust.