My Therapist wants me to try going without therapy now [View all]
I have been in treatment now for around 23 years. She said I have been lower baseline on the depression and anxiety scales based on the answers I have been giving on their tests for the last six months. I will be able to go back into treatment if that changes. I agreed to it, but I am nervous because the last time I tried it, I fell apart and had to be hospitalized. I became pretty much emotionally paralyzed with paranoia and stopped eating and sleeping after Trump got elected. My psychiatrist at the time, told me she didn't think they were going to get me out of it and they had to resort to ECT. I also had several hospitalizations in the past, and 3 attempts at ending my life.
The difference now is that the Psychiatrist who worked tirelessly to get me back, found a medication cocktail of 3 drugs that really started to stop my constant obsessing about my fears. Then last year I finally gave in and started using a CPAP machine. Turns out I was having 72 incidents of occluded breathing a night, and there were times my oxygen level dropped to 60 where 90 is the goal. It was liked somebody flipped a switch. I have had more energy and have been able to employ DBT skills, and stared enjoying things in life and even laughing again.
The Psychiatrist who was my savior moved to a different practice, and my new one was good, and after a shaky start with my current therapist, she ended up helping.
The clinic is still going to prescribe my meds, but it will be through a nurse practioner and not a Psychiatrist. I am kind of proud of myself that I was able to fight back with help but worry I might not be able to maintain the stability on my own. Does that make sense? Wish me luck.
Oh there was one kind of funny note on my last session with my therapist. I said if Trump gets re-elected or any other Republican wins the Presidency in 2024 all bets are off as to me going without counseling. She said, "understood, as there will probably be a line out our doors, and most of our staff will be in it too." 😀
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