My BFF has family like that. She is BiPolar. I am uniPolarD.
Her Mom was her HUGE advocate whenever she got hospitalized. Sisters, clueless.
BUT for years, whenever she started getting "better" they feared she was on the way UP with no way to come down.
I told her, "You have to tell them, 'STOP TELLING ME I AM SICK' because it just makes me worried and then I actually push myself into BEING SICK." If you ever went to therapy, you may have heard that it's hard for black sheep or hero to change roles or just be themselves when the family is set up a certain way, people are stuck where they got assigned growing up.
Sometimes chosen family (aka friends) can be more objective and supportive as they don't have as much to lose if you get better. So glad you have a "dear old friend". THOSE are the BEST kind. When I talk to my BFF, I feel more like myself. Hard to explain, but I know that she "knows me" better than even my Hubby.
My BFF is 15 years out of hospitals and has caught herself "going up" and taken proper steps to get herself on a good path multiple times. She is the one there for her Mom now and her sisters still don't "get it" but once in awhile they have gone out and had fun.
I am proud to be her "unofficial sister" and my kid's call her Auntie.
DOGS are SO good for people. They love unconditionally.
Can you still "love" your sister even if she's a clod?
Forgiveness is FOR YOU, not them.
Resentment is like a fish hook in your soul attaching you TO those you resent and tugging at your heart every time you think life is getting better, because it's unfinished business.
I've had to let go of people who were toxic, but forgive them for not knowing how toxic they were. It is still grief work, but I don't feel like a "bad person" for taking care of myself because I refused to push the shame back.
Good luck. You sound like you will be FINE.
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