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Tab

(11,093 posts)
3. Hi
Sun Sep 22, 2013, 06:24 AM
Sep 2013

I won't use your real name, but wanted to post here instead of a private PM.

I feel like giving up a lot. I have people around me, though, not the least of which is my son and my mother and my wife. My wife would probably deal, but it would devastate my son and my mother.

Yet I understand the desire to keep on keepin' on. You and I have similar diagnoses. I'm also 15+ years older than you and have lived a full life, more than most, and wouldn'f feel like I would be missing out on much of anything if I was to check out early. That said, there are many things I'd like to hang around for. I'd like to hang around for my son. I'd like to hang around for technology - what will it be like in 15 years?? And yet, some times, I'm so tired that I don't give a crap.

I was on (briefly) an oral chemo (Stivarga) that made me seriously doubt the ratio of quality of life to quantity of life. I got nearly every side effect listed. I wouldn't do that again. To stay alive and yet be miserable every moment is not good. I hope to find a point where I can stay alive and enjoy it.

- t

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

same boat here sigmasix Sep 2013 #1
... YvonneCa Sep 2013 #2
Hi Tab Sep 2013 #3
Hugs EgyptianDentist Sep 2013 #4
That's human....we are capable pondering the what ifs Uben Oct 2013 #5
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