I spend a while every day looking at what goes on at the torture farms, in the oceans, what "hunters" do, etc. Because I feel like everyone is in denial and some humans need to witness these things and acknowledge them and feel the horror or shame.
I'm not looking forward to the rest of life. I have to be here until at least 2050 and things will get so much worse by then. What hurts me worst is the mass-extinction our species is causing. And yes I know, I KNOW that extinctions always happen, this has been repeated soooo many times, enough times to make it clear it's another desperate lie our species will tell itself, kinda like how a virus would act before it killed it's host. This is a mass-extinction that will wipe out perfectly healthy, well-adapted animals. That the species doing this, to an entire planet!, considers itself the very image of "God" just convinces me we are a plague, no matter how beautiful our music and science and stuff are..
I've been pressured for years in sick ways to have a baby, but I'd die before giving this century to my child, especially taking the chance if it being a girl.. no, no f'ing way. Between dealing with the baby-pressure, the mass-extinction, being the only one I know who doesn't eat meat & being treated like a weirdo for it, being mocked by some people I'm supposed to consider family as "Concerned Citizen" for going to environmental rallies in DC.. all that bullshit and knowing all the time how the Earth's being raped by their existence, watching all my neighbors pop out their happy lucky little kids.. I've just decided to try to keep laughing. It's all I can do, laugh and sing and sing, laugh, just stay alive, try to help the animals around me, laugh, even if it's turning into a crazy creepy laugh.
And until the blackouts start I'll have internet so I can come online and see I'm not alone.
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