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pandr32

(13,671 posts)

103. Every word of this hurts my heart.

Mon Dec 1, 2025, 05:17 PM

5 hrs ago

Every child deserves to be properly cared for and loved. I am so sorry to hear your background story, and as a survivor of abuse and violence myself I know these things never leave you.
You are one of the most special people. Don't you forget it for one second!
Many days you have brightened up mine.
Respect to you, and many hugs.

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debm55

160 replies

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I need some help with a problem. As some of you know, my family was/is terrible abusive to me. Physical, emotional, and [View all] debm55 Yesterday OP

;-( elleng Yesterday #1

Thank you , elleng. debm55 23 hrs ago #11

Stop punishing yourself Figarosmom Yesterday #2

After what happened with my husband with his cancer. I have cut of all ties. However, Friday was his birthday and she debm55 23 hrs ago #12

Figarosmom is right. Take care of yourself and your husband. Polly Hennessey 22 hrs ago #23

---------- debm55 5 hrs ago #80

Yeah, you shouldn't have answered. Figarosmom 22 hrs ago #24

Good idea. Ty debm55 5 hrs ago #82

Change your phone number, Deb. SheltieLover 22 hrs ago #44

-------- debm55 5 hrs ago #81

What you said MustLoveBeagles 6 hrs ago #74

You are a sweetheart of a human being deb FullySupportDems Yesterday #3

Thank you FullySupportDems. debm55 23 hrs ago #13

Ty your very much for your advice. debm55 5 hrs ago #83

Ty ------ debm55 5 hrs ago #84

deb, you have endured far more abuse than any human being ever should! True Dough Yesterday #4

I am going to call my therapist tomorrow. debm55 23 hrs ago #16

Ty my friend. debm55 5 hrs ago #85

Your story is not too long, Deb. Permanut Yesterday #5

Thank you my friend. debm55 5 hrs ago #86

THIS! electric_blue68 2 hrs ago #125

Blood is not thicker than water. You are under no obligation to do a damn thing for those toxic people Ocelot II Yesterday #6

I want to second that FullySupportDems Yesterday #7

I wish I could rec this a couple of thousand times. fierywoman 22 hrs ago #46

I third this! (n/t) OldBaldy1701E 6 hrs ago #75

Agreed! Excise the malignant ones from your life, Deb SheltieLover 22 hrs ago #47

Ty SheltieLover. debm55 4 hrs ago #106

Yeah, but it comes in handy if you're desperate for a transfusion Warpy 21 hrs ago #60

Thank you so much Ocelot II debm55 5 hrs ago #88

Thank you very much Ocelot II debm55 3 hrs ago #117

I agree with Ocelot... sheshe2 23 hrs ago #8

Ty so much sheshe2. debm55 2 hrs ago #118

Dear Deb - You are loved. I love you. Your DU family loves you. You are not alone. Grim Chieftain 23 hrs ago #9

Absolutely beautifully put. fierywoman 22 hrs ago #49

Thank you Grim Chieftain 10 hrs ago #70

Thank you very much my friend.. debm55 5 hrs ago #95

Always here for you, dear Deb Grim Chieftain 5 hrs ago #97

You put in words what we are all feeling Bluestocking 5 hrs ago #104

OMG HoosierDebbie 23 hrs ago #10

Thank you HoosierDebbie. I have just taken my meds. debm55 23 hrs ago #14

Dearest Debbie, I've suggested to you several times Niagara 23 hrs ago #15

But Niagara, I want them to say they are sorry. I want my mother to say she loves me. JC I am70 years old and married debm55 23 hrs ago #22

I can understand that you want that BlueSpot 22 hrs ago #28

TY BlueSpot. debm55 4 hrs ago #109

Sadly, you just have to accept the fact that that will never happen. Ocelot II 22 hrs ago #29

Agree, I talked to my therapist today. Thank you, Ocelot II debm55 2 hrs ago #121

They're abusers. If you're 70 now, you're never going to get an apology Niagara 22 hrs ago #30

I don't know you but people here know you as a good person annielion 22 hrs ago #36

TY annielion. for your sweet words and welcome to DU debm55 2 hrs ago #119

It isn't going to happen. They don't love you, they never will be sorry. niyad 21 hrs ago #56

TY niyad. I feel better today. I found some nuts , branches and leaves to make a spirit doll for myself. debm55 2 hrs ago #120

hugggggs. Excellent!!! niyad 2 hrs ago #142

Dearest Deb, I viscerally feel your longing for your mother to say she loves you and how sorry they are. summer_in_TX 21 hrs ago #61

That is beautiful, summer_in_TX, Bless you, deb. debm55 2 hrs ago #124

I think you know that is never going to happen. GET AWAY FROM THEM NOW. FOREVER. COMPLETELY. SaydiTom 20 hrs ago #62

Thank you SaydiTom debm55 2 hrs ago #126

TY Niagara. debm55 4 hrs ago #108

I am sorry... hlthe2b 23 hrs ago #17

TY very much hlthe2b. debm55 2 hrs ago #123

END ALL CONTACT WITH AND SUPPORT OF THEM IMMEDIATELY SaydiTom 23 hrs ago #18

Thank you SaydiTom. debm55 2 hrs ago #127

I'm so sorry cate94 23 hrs ago #19

Thank you very much , cate94 debm55 2 hrs ago #128

I'm so sorry, Deb. arkielib 23 hrs ago #20

Thank you my friend. debm55 2 hrs ago #129

I am so sorry, Deb. . . Stargleamer 23 hrs ago #21

Thank you. Stargleamer. debm55 2 hrs ago #130

Deb, cut ALL TIES WITH THEM some_of_us_are_sane 22 hrs ago #25

Thank you so muchm my friend. debm55 2 hrs ago #131

My God I am so sorry Diamond_Dog 22 hrs ago #26

Thank you very much, Diamond_Dog debm55 2 hrs ago #133

Stop punishing yourself, Deb Jilly_in_VA 22 hrs ago #27

Thank you very much Jilly_in_VA Love you friend. debm55 2 hrs ago #135

I'm so sorry. markodochartaigh 22 hrs ago #31

I do and I am glad you all are my friends. debm55 2 hrs ago #136

The Bible does NOT say your family has to ignore government funds available to them. pnwmom 22 hrs ago #32

Thank you very much, pnwmom. debm55 2 hrs ago #137

We all want and need to be loved and you have that with your husband and son..give them all you've got Deuxcents 22 hrs ago #33

Thank you my friend.Deuxcents. debm55 2 hrs ago #138

They made their choices KT2000 22 hrs ago #34

Thank you, my friend KT2000 debm55 2 hrs ago #140

Their expectations Mz Pip 22 hrs ago #35

Thank you very much, Mz Pip debm55 1 hr ago #145

Not too long. Dear_Prudence 22 hrs ago #37

Thank you very much, Dear_Prudence. debm55 1 hr ago #148

You are strong, i have terrible advice Shellback Squid 22 hrs ago #38

What is your advice? Shellback Squid? debm55 57 min ago #150

toxic relationships are to be avoided, friends and even family Shellback Squid 47 min ago #155

Thank you my friend. debm55 21 min ago #158

Please stage left 22 hrs ago #39

Thank you very much stage left. I talked to my therapist today and we are going to work on that. debm55 53 min ago #151

... progressoid 22 hrs ago #40

You said it best too, my friend progressoid. Love, deb. debm55 19 min ago #159

So sorry, Deb. You bring a lot of caring and light to everyone here. Knowing this makes it even more Gaugamela 22 hrs ago #41

I am so sorry deb. You always present a sunny image on these pages, showing so much courage question everything 22 hrs ago #42

The Bible Does NOT say to put up with Abuse and Cruelty. Radical Lutheran 22 hrs ago #43

Deb, with all my heart I wish I could give you a warm motherly hug. And while giving you Joinfortmill 22 hrs ago #45

I wish I could crawl into the computer wires, go to you and give you a hug. 3Hotdogs 22 hrs ago #48

Oh! This times 10,000 times! fierywoman 22 hrs ago #51

You don't owe your family anything iemanja 22 hrs ago #50

I also suffered abuse from family, though nothing as severe as you did. Trueblue Texan 22 hrs ago #52

And we love you. Tell those fucking, monstrous parasites to go to hell. niyad 21 hrs ago #53

I Am So Sorry You Had to Go Through All of This The Roux Comes First 21 hrs ago #54

They will never change. Cut off all contact and take of yourself. You owe them nothing. camartinwv 21 hrs ago #55

Walked in your shoes. MetaphysicalMama 21 hrs ago #57

Thank you, MetaphsicalMama.Love you, Debbie. debm55 3 hrs ago #115

Step away from the abuse, and start one step at a time. Remember you must take care of yourself, before you can care SWBTATTReg 21 hrs ago #58

So they won't take money from the government soldierant 21 hrs ago #59

Everyone here loves you, Deb, and this is a tough room JoseBalow 20 hrs ago #63

Oh dearest Deb, I had no idea of the horrors you have endured. My heart is aching for you. You are the sweetest heart KitFox 19 hrs ago #64

Thank you for your sweet post, My friend, KitFox, debm55 2 hrs ago #134

Hugs Deb. Duncanpup 18 hrs ago #65

Thank you Duncanpup, debm55 2 hrs ago #122

Sounds like PTSD. Hope you look at DU as multigraincracker 17 hrs ago #66

TY very much , multigraincracker debm55 3 hrs ago #116

You're not alone. Mike Nelson 17 hrs ago #67

TY Mike Nelson debm55 5 hrs ago #101

Break free from your birth family. Sanity Claws 15 hrs ago #68

TY very much, Sanity Claws. debm55 5 hrs ago #99

These people SHOULD BE IN JAIL! justaprogressive 10 hrs ago #69

My husband called earlier and told my sister he would take her to the Senior Center. If you she does't go, she is on her debm55 5 hrs ago #98

Well done. justaprogressive 5 hrs ago #100

TY debm55 5 hrs ago #102

Thank you justaprogressive. My friend. debm55 2 hrs ago #132

Thinking of you this morning, Deb and hoping you could get some sleep last night. Always remember you have a load of KitFox 9 hrs ago #71

I didn't get any sleep, but I feel better now. TY KitFox. debm55 5 hrs ago #96

Deb, you are so loved here, at the DU. lucca18 9 hrs ago #72

Thank you , lucca18 debm55 5 hrs ago #93

OMG 😮 MustLoveBeagles 7 hrs ago #73

TY very much, debm55 5 hrs ago #92

Back at ya MustLoveBeagles 5 hrs ago #94

HUGS to you, wonderful Deb! OldBaldy1701E 6 hrs ago #76

Thank you very much. debm55 5 hrs ago #91

The Heck With Them ProfessorGAC 6 hrs ago #77

Thank you my friend. debm55 5 hrs ago #90

Please take care of yourself Sea A Chell 6 hrs ago #78

Thank you , Sea A Chell. debm55 5 hrs ago #89

Good lord - cut all ties with these people immediately! Life isn't supposed to be torture and that's what they've made Vinca 6 hrs ago #79

Thank you my friend, debm55 5 hrs ago #87

Every word of this hurts my heart. pandr32 5 hrs ago #103

Thank you pandr32 debm55 4 hrs ago #114

Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs and many more Hugs, Deb Clouds Passing 4 hrs ago #105

Thank you very much, Clouds Passing. debm55 4 hrs ago #107

Take care of yourself, your husband and son. PittBlue 4 hrs ago #110

Thank you very much PittBlue. Oh, my father worked roe Carrier in Jeannette. He made good money, nice house. But what debm55 4 hrs ago #112

Just say 'No'. Stop allowing them to destroy your life. You are under no obligation to pay for or nurse any of them. And sinkingfeeling 4 hrs ago #111

Thank you sinkingfeeling. debm55 4 hrs ago #113

You have lots on your plate of life. Botany 2 hrs ago #139

Thank you my friend Botany, George was my favorite. I also liked the song, "All Things Must Pass" debm55 48 min ago #154

How the hell did you turn out like this with that background?! buzzycrumbhunger 2 hrs ago #141

Thank you very much, buzzycrumbhunger. It is odd that you say that. I have a BS in ART, 2 Masters of ED in Special Ed debm55 29 min ago #157

Deb, you will never get what you seek from them - TBF 1 hr ago #143

Thank you very much for your post, TBF. You are a very kind person. debm55 1 hr ago #149

Walk Away for Good (your own!) from these Abusers! I remember some of what you said previously about this.... electric_blue68 1 hr ago #144

Thank you, very much my friend, electric_blue68. Yes, my BS was in Art Ed. The art projects that meant most to me and debm55 1 hr ago #146

YW, deb! electric_blue68 1 hr ago #147

You are strong. underpants 53 min ago #152

Thank you my dear friend, underpants. debm55 51 min ago #153

Sever ties donkeyoaty 35 min ago #156

Thank you my dear donkeyoaty.I talked to my therapist today and we are going to work on it. debm55 16 min ago #160