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some_of_us_are_sane

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25. Deb, cut ALL TIES WITH THEM

Sun Nov 30, 2025, 11:26 PM

Sunday

You did not choose the family you were born into and they kicked you around like a piece of trash.

THEY NEVER DESERVED YOUR LOVING, BRIGHT PRESENCE. Stop waiting for them to show they love you. They are damaged people, and that will never happen.

Encircle the family you've made for yourself... and CLOSE the door on a past that can never be reborn into something nurturing.

You have HEAPS to give....don't waste it on lost causes and cruel and selfish people!

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johnp3907 Niagara fierywoman SheltieLover Wiz Imp debm55 electric_blue68

168 replies

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Highlight:

I need some help with a problem. As some of you know, my family was/is terrible abusive to me. Physical, emotional, and [View all] debm55 Sunday OP

;-( elleng Sunday #1

Thank you , elleng. debm55 Sunday #11

Stop punishing yourself Figarosmom Sunday #2

After what happened with my husband with his cancer. I have cut of all ties. However, Friday was his birthday and she debm55 Sunday #12

Figarosmom is right. Take care of yourself and your husband. Polly Hennessey Sunday #23

---------- debm55 13 hrs ago #80

Yeah, you shouldn't have answered. Figarosmom Sunday #24

Good idea. Ty debm55 13 hrs ago #82

Change your phone number, Deb. SheltieLover Yesterday #44

-------- debm55 13 hrs ago #81

You can block specific phone numbers. Do it fargone 7 hrs ago #161

Thank you for your help and kindness, fargone. debm55 7 hrs ago #162

What you said MustLoveBeagles 14 hrs ago #74

You are a sweetheart of a human being deb FullySupportDems Sunday #3

Thank you FullySupportDems. debm55 Sunday #13

Ty your very much for your advice. debm55 13 hrs ago #83

Ty ------ debm55 13 hrs ago #84

deb, you have endured far more abuse than any human being ever should! True Dough Sunday #4

I am going to call my therapist tomorrow. debm55 Sunday #16

Ty my friend. debm55 13 hrs ago #85

Your story is not too long, Deb. Permanut Sunday #5

Thank you my friend. debm55 13 hrs ago #86

THIS! electric_blue68 10 hrs ago #125

Blood is not thicker than water. You are under no obligation to do a damn thing for those toxic people Ocelot II Sunday #6

I want to second that FullySupportDems Sunday #7

I wish I could rec this a couple of thousand times. fierywoman Yesterday #46

I third this! (n/t) OldBaldy1701E 14 hrs ago #75

Agreed! Excise the malignant ones from your life, Deb SheltieLover Yesterday #47

Ty SheltieLover. debm55 11 hrs ago #106

Yeah, but it comes in handy if you're desperate for a transfusion Warpy Yesterday #60

Thank you so much Ocelot II debm55 12 hrs ago #88

Thank you very much Ocelot II debm55 10 hrs ago #117

I agree with Ocelot... sheshe2 Sunday #8

Ty so much sheshe2. debm55 10 hrs ago #118

Dear Deb - You are loved. I love you. Your DU family loves you. You are not alone. Grim Chieftain Sunday #9

Absolutely beautifully put. fierywoman Yesterday #49

Thank you Grim Chieftain 17 hrs ago #70

Thank you very much my friend.. debm55 12 hrs ago #95

Always here for you, dear Deb Grim Chieftain 12 hrs ago #97

You put in words what we are all feeling Bluestocking 12 hrs ago #104

OMG HoosierDebbie Sunday #10

Thank you HoosierDebbie. I have just taken my meds. debm55 Sunday #14

Dearest Debbie, I've suggested to you several times Niagara Sunday #15

But Niagara, I want them to say they are sorry. I want my mother to say she loves me. JC I am70 years old and married debm55 Sunday #22

I can understand that you want that BlueSpot Sunday #28

TY BlueSpot. debm55 11 hrs ago #109

Sadly, you just have to accept the fact that that will never happen. Ocelot II Sunday #29

Agree, I talked to my therapist today. Thank you, Ocelot II debm55 10 hrs ago #121

They're abusers. If you're 70 now, you're never going to get an apology Niagara Sunday #30

I don't know you but people here know you as a good person annielion Sunday #36

TY annielion. for your sweet words and welcome to DU debm55 10 hrs ago #119

It isn't going to happen. They don't love you, they never will be sorry. niyad Yesterday #56

TY niyad. I feel better today. I found some nuts , branches and leaves to make a spirit doll for myself. debm55 10 hrs ago #120

hugggggs. Excellent!!! niyad 9 hrs ago #142

Dearest Deb, I viscerally feel your longing for your mother to say she loves you and how sorry they are. summer_in_TX Yesterday #61

That is beautiful, summer_in_TX, Bless you, deb. debm55 10 hrs ago #124

I have a young friend who suffered much abuse as a child and young woman. summer_in_TX 4 hrs ago #168

I think you know that is never going to happen. GET AWAY FROM THEM NOW. FOREVER. COMPLETELY. SaydiTom Yesterday #62

Thank you SaydiTom debm55 10 hrs ago #126

TY Niagara. debm55 11 hrs ago #108

I am sorry... hlthe2b Sunday #17

TY very much hlthe2b. debm55 10 hrs ago #123

END ALL CONTACT WITH AND SUPPORT OF THEM IMMEDIATELY SaydiTom Sunday #18

Thank you SaydiTom. debm55 9 hrs ago #127

I'm so sorry cate94 Sunday #19

Thank you very much , cate94 debm55 9 hrs ago #128

I'm so sorry, Deb. arkielib Sunday #20

Thank you my friend. debm55 9 hrs ago #129

I am so sorry, Deb. . . Stargleamer Sunday #21

Thank you. Stargleamer. debm55 9 hrs ago #130

Deb, cut ALL TIES WITH THEM some_of_us_are_sane Sunday #25

Thank you so muchm my friend. debm55 9 hrs ago #131

My God I am so sorry Diamond_Dog Sunday #26

Thank you very much, Diamond_Dog debm55 9 hrs ago #133

Stop punishing yourself, Deb Jilly_in_VA Sunday #27

Thank you very much Jilly_in_VA Love you friend. debm55 9 hrs ago #135

I'm so sorry. markodochartaigh Sunday #31

I do and I am glad you all are my friends. debm55 9 hrs ago #136

The Bible does NOT say your family has to ignore government funds available to them. pnwmom Sunday #32

Thank you very much, pnwmom. debm55 9 hrs ago #137

Everyone here is wishing you all the best! pnwmom 6 hrs ago #165

We all want and need to be loved and you have that with your husband and son..give them all you've got Deuxcents Sunday #33

Thank you my friend.Deuxcents. debm55 9 hrs ago #138

They made their choices KT2000 Sunday #34

Thank you, my friend KT2000 debm55 9 hrs ago #140

Their expectations Mz Pip Sunday #35

Thank you very much, Mz Pip debm55 8 hrs ago #145

Not too long. Dear_Prudence Sunday #37

Thank you very much, Dear_Prudence. debm55 8 hrs ago #148

You are strong, i have terrible advice Shellback Squid Sunday #38

What is your advice? Shellback Squid? debm55 8 hrs ago #150

toxic relationships are to be avoided, friends and even family Shellback Squid 8 hrs ago #155

Thank you my friend. debm55 7 hrs ago #158

Please stage left Sunday #39

Thank you very much stage left. I talked to my therapist today and we are going to work on that. debm55 8 hrs ago #151

... progressoid Sunday #40

You said it best too, my friend progressoid. Love, deb. debm55 7 hrs ago #159

So sorry, Deb. You bring a lot of caring and light to everyone here. Knowing this makes it even more Gaugamela Sunday #41

I am so sorry deb. You always present a sunny image on these pages, showing so much courage question everything Yesterday #42

The Bible Does NOT say to put up with Abuse and Cruelty. Radical Lutheran Yesterday #43

Deb, with all my heart I wish I could give you a warm motherly hug. And while giving you Joinfortmill Yesterday #45

I wish I could crawl into the computer wires, go to you and give you a hug. 3Hotdogs Yesterday #48

Oh! This times 10,000 times! fierywoman Yesterday #51

You don't owe your family anything iemanja Yesterday #50

I also suffered abuse from family, though nothing as severe as you did. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #52

And we love you. Tell those fucking, monstrous parasites to go to hell. niyad Yesterday #53

I Am So Sorry You Had to Go Through All of This The Roux Comes First Yesterday #54

They will never change. Cut off all contact and take of yourself. You owe them nothing. camartinwv Yesterday #55

Walked in your shoes. MetaphysicalMama Yesterday #57

Thank you, MetaphsicalMama.Love you, Debbie. debm55 10 hrs ago #115

Step away from the abuse, and start one step at a time. Remember you must take care of yourself, before you can care SWBTATTReg Yesterday #58

So they won't take money from the government soldierant Yesterday #59

Everyone here loves you, Deb, and this is a tough room JoseBalow Yesterday #63

Oh dearest Deb, I had no idea of the horrors you have endured. My heart is aching for you. You are the sweetest heart KitFox Yesterday #64

Thank you for your sweet post, My friend, KitFox, debm55 9 hrs ago #134

Hugs Deb. Duncanpup Yesterday #65

Thank you Duncanpup, debm55 10 hrs ago #122

Sounds like PTSD. Hope you look at DU as multigraincracker Yesterday #66

TY very much , multigraincracker debm55 10 hrs ago #116

You're not alone. Mike Nelson Yesterday #67

TY Mike Nelson debm55 12 hrs ago #101

Break free from your birth family. Sanity Claws 23 hrs ago #68

TY very much, Sanity Claws. debm55 12 hrs ago #99

These people SHOULD BE IN JAIL! justaprogressive 18 hrs ago #69

My husband called earlier and told my sister he would take her to the Senior Center. If you she does't go, she is on her debm55 12 hrs ago #98

Well done. justaprogressive 12 hrs ago #100

TY debm55 12 hrs ago #102

Thank you justaprogressive. My friend. debm55 9 hrs ago #132

Thinking of you this morning, Deb and hoping you could get some sleep last night. Always remember you have a load of KitFox 16 hrs ago #71

I didn't get any sleep, but I feel better now. TY KitFox. debm55 12 hrs ago #96

Deb, you are so loved here, at the DU. lucca18 16 hrs ago #72

Thank you , lucca18 debm55 12 hrs ago #93

OMG 😮 MustLoveBeagles 14 hrs ago #73

TY very much, debm55 12 hrs ago #92

Back at ya MustLoveBeagles 12 hrs ago #94

HUGS to you, wonderful Deb! OldBaldy1701E 14 hrs ago #76

Thank you very much. debm55 12 hrs ago #91

The Heck With Them ProfessorGAC 14 hrs ago #77

Thank you my friend. debm55 12 hrs ago #90

Please take care of yourself Sea A Chell 13 hrs ago #78

Thank you , Sea A Chell. debm55 12 hrs ago #89

Good lord - cut all ties with these people immediately! Life isn't supposed to be torture and that's what they've made Vinca 13 hrs ago #79

Thank you my friend, debm55 12 hrs ago #87

Every word of this hurts my heart. pandr32 12 hrs ago #103

Thank you pandr32 debm55 11 hrs ago #114

Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs and many more Hugs, Deb Clouds Passing 12 hrs ago #105

Thank you very much, Clouds Passing. debm55 11 hrs ago #107

Take care of yourself, your husband and son. PittBlue 11 hrs ago #110

Thank you very much PittBlue. Oh, my father worked roe Carrier in Jeannette. He made good money, nice house. But what debm55 11 hrs ago #112

Just say 'No'. Stop allowing them to destroy your life. You are under no obligation to pay for or nurse any of them. And sinkingfeeling 11 hrs ago #111

Thank you sinkingfeeling. debm55 11 hrs ago #113

You have lots on your plate of life. Botany 9 hrs ago #139

Thank you my friend Botany, George was my favorite. I also liked the song, "All Things Must Pass" debm55 8 hrs ago #154

How the hell did you turn out like this with that background?! buzzycrumbhunger 9 hrs ago #141

Thank you very much, buzzycrumbhunger. It is odd that you say that. I have a BS in ART, 2 Masters of ED in Special Ed debm55 7 hrs ago #157

Deb, you will never get what you seek from them - TBF 9 hrs ago #143

Thank you very much for your post, TBF. You are a very kind person. debm55 8 hrs ago #149

Walk Away for Good (your own!) from these Abusers! I remember some of what you said previously about this.... electric_blue68 9 hrs ago #144

Thank you, very much my friend, electric_blue68. Yes, my BS was in Art Ed. The art projects that meant most to me and debm55 8 hrs ago #146

YW, deb! electric_blue68 8 hrs ago #147

You are strong. underpants 8 hrs ago #152

Thank you my dear friend, underpants. debm55 8 hrs ago #153

Sever ties donkeyoaty 7 hrs ago #156

Thank you my dear donkeyoaty.I talked to my therapist today and we are going to work on it. debm55 7 hrs ago #160

You are loved immensely here. Basso8vb 6 hrs ago #163

Thank you very much, Basso8vb. love, deb. debm55 6 hrs ago #164

Many people in similar situations, DaBronx 6 hrs ago #166

I just read your horrific post, and I feel so sorry for you. SWinter 5 hrs ago #167