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Permanut

(7,823 posts)

5. Your story is not too long, Deb.

Sun Nov 30, 2025, 10:03 PM

Sunday

You are right in the middle of your virtual family here.

You have shown incredible strength through these challenges and ordeals;

The Bible speaks of caring for others, but nowhere does it require you to tolerate abuse. Those who are not caring for you are hypocrites.

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HoosierDebbie fierywoman SheltieLover h2ebits summer_in_TX Calico20 lark susanr516 WA-03 Democrat electric_blue68 AloeVera halobeam

170 replies

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I need some help with a problem. As some of you know, my family was/is terrible abusive to me. Physical, emotional, and [View all] debm55 Sunday OP

;-( elleng Sunday #1

Thank you , elleng. debm55 Sunday #11

Stop punishing yourself Figarosmom Sunday #2

After what happened with my husband with his cancer. I have cut of all ties. However, Friday was his birthday and she debm55 Sunday #12

Figarosmom is right. Take care of yourself and your husband. Polly Hennessey Sunday #23

---------- debm55 16 hrs ago #80

Yeah, you shouldn't have answered. Figarosmom Sunday #24

Good idea. Ty debm55 16 hrs ago #82

Change your phone number, Deb. SheltieLover Yesterday #44

-------- debm55 16 hrs ago #81

You can block specific phone numbers. Do it fargone 10 hrs ago #161

Thank you for your help and kindness, fargone. debm55 10 hrs ago #162

What you said MustLoveBeagles 17 hrs ago #74

You are a sweetheart of a human being deb FullySupportDems Sunday #3

Thank you FullySupportDems. debm55 Sunday #13

Ty your very much for your advice. debm55 16 hrs ago #83

Ty ------ debm55 16 hrs ago #84

deb, you have endured far more abuse than any human being ever should! True Dough Sunday #4

I am going to call my therapist tomorrow. debm55 Sunday #16

Ty my friend. debm55 16 hrs ago #85

Your story is not too long, Deb. Permanut Sunday #5

Thank you my friend. debm55 16 hrs ago #86

THIS! electric_blue68 13 hrs ago #125

Blood is not thicker than water. You are under no obligation to do a damn thing for those toxic people Ocelot II Sunday #6

I want to second that FullySupportDems Sunday #7

I wish I could rec this a couple of thousand times. fierywoman Yesterday #46

I third this! (n/t) OldBaldy1701E 17 hrs ago #75

Agreed! Excise the malignant ones from your life, Deb SheltieLover Yesterday #47

Ty SheltieLover. debm55 15 hrs ago #106

Yeah, but it comes in handy if you're desperate for a transfusion Warpy Yesterday #60

Thank you so much Ocelot II debm55 16 hrs ago #88

Thank you very much Ocelot II debm55 13 hrs ago #117

I agree with Ocelot... sheshe2 Sunday #8

Ty so much sheshe2. debm55 13 hrs ago #118

Dear Deb - You are loved. I love you. Your DU family loves you. You are not alone. Grim Chieftain Sunday #9

Absolutely beautifully put. fierywoman Yesterday #49

Thank you Grim Chieftain 21 hrs ago #70

Thank you very much my friend.. debm55 16 hrs ago #95

Always here for you, dear Deb Grim Chieftain 16 hrs ago #97

You put in words what we are all feeling Bluestocking 15 hrs ago #104

OMG HoosierDebbie Sunday #10

Thank you HoosierDebbie. I have just taken my meds. debm55 Sunday #14

Dearest Debbie, I've suggested to you several times Niagara Sunday #15

But Niagara, I want them to say they are sorry. I want my mother to say she loves me. JC I am70 years old and married debm55 Sunday #22

I can understand that you want that BlueSpot Sunday #28

TY BlueSpot. debm55 15 hrs ago #109

Sadly, you just have to accept the fact that that will never happen. Ocelot II Sunday #29

Agree, I talked to my therapist today. Thank you, Ocelot II debm55 13 hrs ago #121

They're abusers. If you're 70 now, you're never going to get an apology Niagara Sunday #30

I don't know you but people here know you as a good person annielion Sunday #36

TY annielion. for your sweet words and welcome to DU debm55 13 hrs ago #119

It isn't going to happen. They don't love you, they never will be sorry. niyad Yesterday #56

TY niyad. I feel better today. I found some nuts , branches and leaves to make a spirit doll for myself. debm55 13 hrs ago #120

hugggggs. Excellent!!! niyad 12 hrs ago #142

Dearest Deb, I viscerally feel your longing for your mother to say she loves you and how sorry they are. summer_in_TX Yesterday #61

That is beautiful, summer_in_TX, Bless you, deb. debm55 13 hrs ago #124

I have a young friend who suffered much abuse as a child and young woman. summer_in_TX 7 hrs ago #168

I think you know that is never going to happen. GET AWAY FROM THEM NOW. FOREVER. COMPLETELY. SaydiTom Yesterday #62

Thank you SaydiTom debm55 13 hrs ago #126

TY Niagara. debm55 15 hrs ago #108

Yw Debbie Niagara 2 hrs ago #169

I am sorry... hlthe2b Sunday #17

TY very much hlthe2b. debm55 13 hrs ago #123

END ALL CONTACT WITH AND SUPPORT OF THEM IMMEDIATELY SaydiTom Sunday #18

Thank you SaydiTom. debm55 13 hrs ago #127

I'm so sorry cate94 Sunday #19

Thank you very much , cate94 debm55 13 hrs ago #128

I'm so sorry, Deb. arkielib Sunday #20

Thank you my friend. debm55 13 hrs ago #129

I am so sorry, Deb. . . Stargleamer Sunday #21

Thank you. Stargleamer. debm55 13 hrs ago #130

Deb, cut ALL TIES WITH THEM some_of_us_are_sane Sunday #25

Thank you so muchm my friend. debm55 13 hrs ago #131

My God I am so sorry Diamond_Dog Sunday #26

Thank you very much, Diamond_Dog debm55 13 hrs ago #133

Stop punishing yourself, Deb Jilly_in_VA Sunday #27

Thank you very much Jilly_in_VA Love you friend. debm55 12 hrs ago #135

I'm so sorry. markodochartaigh Sunday #31

I do and I am glad you all are my friends. debm55 12 hrs ago #136

The Bible does NOT say your family has to ignore government funds available to them. pnwmom Sunday #32

Thank you very much, pnwmom. debm55 12 hrs ago #137

Everyone here is wishing you all the best! pnwmom 9 hrs ago #165

We all want and need to be loved and you have that with your husband and son..give them all you've got Deuxcents Sunday #33

Thank you my friend.Deuxcents. debm55 12 hrs ago #138

They made their choices KT2000 Sunday #34

Thank you, my friend KT2000 debm55 12 hrs ago #140

Their expectations Mz Pip Sunday #35

Thank you very much, Mz Pip debm55 12 hrs ago #145

Not too long. Dear_Prudence Sunday #37

Thank you very much, Dear_Prudence. debm55 11 hrs ago #148

You are strong, i have terrible advice Shellback Squid Sunday #38

What is your advice? Shellback Squid? debm55 11 hrs ago #150

toxic relationships are to be avoided, friends and even family Shellback Squid 11 hrs ago #155

Thank you my friend. debm55 11 hrs ago #158

Please stage left Sunday #39

Thank you very much stage left. I talked to my therapist today and we are going to work on that. debm55 11 hrs ago #151

... progressoid Sunday #40

You said it best too, my friend progressoid. Love, deb. debm55 11 hrs ago #159

So sorry, Deb. You bring a lot of caring and light to everyone here. Knowing this makes it even more Gaugamela Sunday #41

I am so sorry deb. You always present a sunny image on these pages, showing so much courage question everything Yesterday #42

The Bible Does NOT say to put up with Abuse and Cruelty. Radical Lutheran Yesterday #43

Deb, with all my heart I wish I could give you a warm motherly hug. And while giving you Joinfortmill Yesterday #45

I wish I could crawl into the computer wires, go to you and give you a hug. 3Hotdogs Yesterday #48

Oh! This times 10,000 times! fierywoman Yesterday #51

You don't owe your family anything iemanja Yesterday #50

I also suffered abuse from family, though nothing as severe as you did. Trueblue Texan Yesterday #52

And we love you. Tell those fucking, monstrous parasites to go to hell. niyad Yesterday #53

I Am So Sorry You Had to Go Through All of This The Roux Comes First Yesterday #54

They will never change. Cut off all contact and take of yourself. You owe them nothing. camartinwv Yesterday #55

Walked in your shoes. MetaphysicalMama Yesterday #57

Thank you, MetaphsicalMama.Love you, Debbie. debm55 13 hrs ago #115

Step away from the abuse, and start one step at a time. Remember you must take care of yourself, before you can care SWBTATTReg Yesterday #58

So they won't take money from the government soldierant Yesterday #59

Everyone here loves you, Deb, and this is a tough room JoseBalow Yesterday #63

Oh dearest Deb, I had no idea of the horrors you have endured. My heart is aching for you. You are the sweetest heart KitFox Yesterday #64

Thank you for your sweet post, My friend, KitFox, debm55 13 hrs ago #134

Hugs Deb. Duncanpup Yesterday #65

Thank you Duncanpup, debm55 13 hrs ago #122

Sounds like PTSD. Hope you look at DU as multigraincracker Yesterday #66

TY very much , multigraincracker debm55 13 hrs ago #116

You're not alone. Mike Nelson Yesterday #67

TY Mike Nelson debm55 15 hrs ago #101

Break free from your birth family. Sanity Claws Yesterday #68

TY very much, Sanity Claws. debm55 15 hrs ago #99

These people SHOULD BE IN JAIL! justaprogressive 21 hrs ago #69

My husband called earlier and told my sister he would take her to the Senior Center. If you she does't go, she is on her debm55 16 hrs ago #98

Well done. justaprogressive 15 hrs ago #100

TY debm55 15 hrs ago #102

Thank you justaprogressive. My friend. debm55 13 hrs ago #132

Thinking of you this morning, Deb and hoping you could get some sleep last night. Always remember you have a load of KitFox 19 hrs ago #71

I didn't get any sleep, but I feel better now. TY KitFox. debm55 16 hrs ago #96

Deb, you are so loved here, at the DU. lucca18 19 hrs ago #72

Thank you , lucca18 debm55 16 hrs ago #93

OMG 😮 MustLoveBeagles 17 hrs ago #73

TY very much, debm55 16 hrs ago #92

Back at ya MustLoveBeagles 16 hrs ago #94

HUGS to you, wonderful Deb! OldBaldy1701E 17 hrs ago #76

Thank you very much. debm55 16 hrs ago #91

The Heck With Them ProfessorGAC 17 hrs ago #77

Thank you my friend. debm55 16 hrs ago #90

Please take care of yourself Sea A Chell 17 hrs ago #78

Thank you , Sea A Chell. debm55 16 hrs ago #89

Good lord - cut all ties with these people immediately! Life isn't supposed to be torture and that's what they've made Vinca 17 hrs ago #79

Thank you my friend, debm55 16 hrs ago #87

Every word of this hurts my heart. pandr32 15 hrs ago #103

Thank you pandr32 debm55 14 hrs ago #114

Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs and many more Hugs, Deb Clouds Passing 15 hrs ago #105

Thank you very much, Clouds Passing. debm55 15 hrs ago #107

Take care of yourself, your husband and son. PittBlue 15 hrs ago #110

Thank you very much PittBlue. Oh, my father worked roe Carrier in Jeannette. He made good money, nice house. But what debm55 14 hrs ago #112

Just say 'No'. Stop allowing them to destroy your life. You are under no obligation to pay for or nurse any of them. And sinkingfeeling 14 hrs ago #111

Thank you sinkingfeeling. debm55 14 hrs ago #113

You have lots on your plate of life. Botany 12 hrs ago #139

Thank you my friend Botany, George was my favorite. I also liked the song, "All Things Must Pass" debm55 11 hrs ago #154

How the hell did you turn out like this with that background?! buzzycrumbhunger 12 hrs ago #141

Thank you very much, buzzycrumbhunger. It is odd that you say that. I have a BS in ART, 2 Masters of ED in Special Ed debm55 11 hrs ago #157

Deb, you will never get what you seek from them - TBF 12 hrs ago #143

Thank you very much for your post, TBF. You are a very kind person. debm55 11 hrs ago #149

Walk Away for Good (your own!) from these Abusers! I remember some of what you said previously about this.... electric_blue68 12 hrs ago #144

Thank you, very much my friend, electric_blue68. Yes, my BS was in Art Ed. The art projects that meant most to me and debm55 12 hrs ago #146

YW, deb! electric_blue68 11 hrs ago #147

You are strong. underpants 11 hrs ago #152

Thank you my dear friend, underpants. debm55 11 hrs ago #153

Sever ties donkeyoaty 11 hrs ago #156

Thank you my dear donkeyoaty.I talked to my therapist today and we are going to work on it. debm55 10 hrs ago #160

You are loved immensely here. Basso8vb 10 hrs ago #163

Thank you very much, Basso8vb. love, deb. debm55 10 hrs ago #164

Many people in similar situations, DaBronx 9 hrs ago #166

I just read your horrific post, and I feel so sorry for you. SWinter 8 hrs ago #167

Wow deb, I never dreamed you have been through so much. Emile 1 hr ago #170