Comcast's cable spinoff to be named Versant, picked to emphasize corporate versatility

[underpants]

1. Because their brand is so 💩 they don't even use it

Their trucks say Xfinity so they don’t say Comcast.

Comcast once told me that the reason our internet wasn’t working (cable TV and landline worked) was because maybe squirrels ate through it.
Me: The squirrels only ate through the internet part?