General Discussion

highplainsdem

(61,348 posts)

45. I'm so sorry, Maeve. I lost my mother several years ago, after years of being her caregiver (including

Sun Mar 1, 2026, 07:37 PM

23 hrs ago

a lot of time almost every day during her final months in a nursing home, because the staff there had so much trouble coping with her very rare swallowing disorder, achalasia, which some of the aides had never heard of and only one specialist in the city had any expertise with). It wasn't as sudden a loss for me, of course, but losing a parent is hard, and losing a loved one you've been a caregiver for is hard, and the combination is wrenching.

We're here for you. I'm praying your mother will be able to send you some signs to help comfort you.

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For my friends and fiends, fellow DUers--I have not been around much lately [View all] Maeve Yesterday OP

Coming your way. It's tough losing a loved one. Be at peace, also. CurtEastPoint Yesterday #1

Thank you. She's at peace, so I can be Maeve 11 hrs ago #84

That sucks, even when it's expected. buzzycrumbhunger Yesterday #2

It does, indeed, suck. Thank you Maeve 11 hrs ago #85

Sending you strength... Drum Yesterday #3

Appreciated. Thank you Maeve 11 hrs ago #86

My sincere condolences, Miss Maeve. 💐 Deuxcents Yesterday #4

Thank you Maeve 11 hrs ago #87

Deepest condolences SheltieLover Yesterday #5

Thank you and hugs back Maeve 11 hrs ago #88

Your mother Clouds Passing Yesterday #6

I will, thank you Maeve 11 hrs ago #89

My dear Maeve UpInArms Yesterday #7

I wish I could say how much that means to me. Thank you Maeve 11 hrs ago #90

My sincere condolences, Maeve. greatauntoftriplets Yesterday #8

Appreciated, a chara Maeve 11 hrs ago #91

Deepest sympathy Maeve malaise Yesterday #9

Thank you. I knew I'd get group hugs here! Maeve 11 hrs ago #92

One more malaise 10 hrs ago #98

💔☮️🌺🌻🕯️🕊️💜 Cha Yesterday #10

It was expected yet so sudden at the end. Thank you Maeve 11 hrs ago #93

I'm so sorry for your loss. yardwork Yesterday #11

That is exactly the right phrase for an Irish wake. Thank you Maeve 11 hrs ago #94

Take care of yourself. Hugs. Srkdqltr Yesterday #12

Appreciated. Thank you Maeve 11 hrs ago #95

I'm so sorry! cate94 Yesterday #13

Thank you so much Maeve 10 hrs ago #96

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Maeve. 💙 sheshe2 Yesterday #14

I'm just glad I was there with her at the end. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #97

Wow, that's tough Maeve CountAllVotes Yesterday #15

I will, thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #99

May her memory always be for a blessing. PCIntern Yesterday #16

Beautiful. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #100

Big hug. ananda Yesterday #17

I'm glad I was there for her. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #101

My sympathy to you and your family Maeve. May livetohike Yesterday #18

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #102

Blessings on you, Maeve* mcar Yesterday #19

You are right, it will be a long process. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #103

I'm so sorry Maeve JMCKUSICK Yesterday #20

Thank you so much Maeve 10 hrs ago #104

Hey, Maeve, it sounds like you gave all. calimary Yesterday #21

You are too kind. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #105

So sorry for your loss. Dear_Prudence Yesterday #22

Thank you. I appreciate it Maeve 10 hrs ago #106

My deepest condolences, Maeve. brer cat Yesterday #23

I'm glad I was there at the end. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #107

Dear Maeve, I send my love and understanding. ShazamIam Yesterday #24

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #108

Sending! 2naSalit Yesterday #25

Appreciated Maeve 10 hrs ago #109

Hugs and wishes Figarosmom Yesterday #26

Thank you so much Maeve 10 hrs ago #110

Goodness. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I pray for strength for you. LoisB Yesterday #27

Appreciated Maeve 10 hrs ago #111

You know we all are with you. mercuryblues Yesterday #28

That's why I posted. DUers are amazing! Maeve 10 hrs ago #112

Even at 95 years old, and having years to prepare, I know it will be hard to deal with. patphil Yesterday #29

What a great reminder, patphil! calimary 22 hrs ago #56

Slowly and then all at once. Yes, the next couple of weeks will be difficult. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #113

Sorry for your loss SocialDemocrat61 Yesterday #30

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #114

I am so sorry. pandr32 Yesterday #31

Appreciated. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #115

Hugs SallyHemmings Yesterday #32

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #116

So sorry for your loss, Maeve 70sEraVet Yesterday #33

Thank you so much Maeve 10 hrs ago #117

Blessings to you. I'm so happy you had her for that long!💜💜💜💜 1WorldHope Yesterday #34

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #119

Stay strong and find peace. NoMoreRepugs Yesterday #35

I will. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #120

Deepest condolences to you on the loss of virgdem Yesterday #36

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #121

Prayers said for your family. hamsterjill Yesterday #37

And I am lucky to have family to help. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #122

Holding you in light and love, dear Maeve. hugggggggggggggs niyad Yesterday #38

DUers are the best! Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #123

So sorry for your loss! senseandsensibility Yesterday #39

It comes in waves and yes, that makes it hard. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #124

I am so very sorry to read this irisblue Yesterday #40

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #125

I understand. I've been a caregiver over a decade now, and I often think that should my love die, PatrickforB 23 hrs ago #41

Yeah, my week will lose some of its shape with her gone. Take care of yourself as well. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #126

(((gentle hug))) 🫂 mwmisses4289 23 hrs ago #42

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #127

I'm so sorry. MontanaMama 23 hrs ago #43

I knew she wouldn't live long, but she went so fast it was a shock. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #128

You've got it! Sincere condolences. paleotn 23 hrs ago #44

My dad's been gone 46 years, but he still pops up in my dreams now and then. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #129

I'm so sorry, Maeve. I lost my mother several years ago, after years of being her caregiver (including highplainsdem 23 hrs ago #45

Thank you--quick story about signs Maeve 10 hrs ago #130

How perfect, to find that now. She'll appreciate it. highplainsdem 3 hrs ago #184

That was beautiful. Thank you again Maeve 2 hrs ago #187

So sorry for your loss, Maeve LNM 23 hrs ago #46

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #131

I'm so sorry, Maeve. swimboy 23 hrs ago #47

Appreciated Maeve 10 hrs ago #132

My deepest sympathies bamagal62 23 hrs ago #48

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #133

So sorry, you're in my thoughts. CaptainTruth 23 hrs ago #49

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #134

Sorry for your loss hibbing 22 hrs ago #50

I'm glad I could be there but it did get trying at times. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #135

Oh, so sorry bdamomma 22 hrs ago #51

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #136

Sorry for your loss Tree Lady 22 hrs ago #52

Appreciated Maeve 10 hrs ago #137

(((BIG HUGS))) BumRushDaShow 22 hrs ago #53

Thank you, my friend Maeve 10 hrs ago #138

Take your time BumRushDaShow 10 hrs ago #148

And I have family to help, too Maeve 9 hrs ago #151

When my mom passed just over 10 years ago BumRushDaShow 9 hrs ago #155

Mom was in assisted care, so little property Maeve 9 hrs ago #158

Understood BumRushDaShow 8 hrs ago #176

Deepest sorrow for your mom and you. May the memories of your mom be a blessing to you, Sweet Maeve. debm55 22 hrs ago #54

That is so sweet. Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #139

... Aristus 22 hrs ago #55

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #140

Comforting warmth headed your way Lifeafter70 22 hrs ago #57

I will, thanks Maeve 10 hrs ago #141

Hi Maeve berniesandersmittens 22 hrs ago #58

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #142

I am so sorry mgardener 22 hrs ago #59

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #143

.. BlueWaveNeverEnd 22 hrs ago #60

Thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #144

So sorry for your loss ornotna 22 hrs ago #61

Appreciated Maeve 10 hrs ago #145

I understand so well. Staph 22 hrs ago #62

Oh, my! Blessings on you, as well! Maeve 10 hrs ago #146

Sending gentle hugs and strength as you deal with your sad loss and inch your way through this. 🩷 KitFox 22 hrs ago #63

It does feel like a slog, thank you Maeve 10 hrs ago #147

So sorry for your loss ms liberty 21 hrs ago #64

Thank you I knew DUers would step up Maeve 9 hrs ago #149

Dear Maeve, I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom Grim Chieftain 21 hrs ago #65

Thank you. I'm glad I was there at the end Maeve 9 hrs ago #150

You have my sympathy KT2000 20 hrs ago #66

Thank you. And my dear Hubby will help take care of me! Maeve 9 hrs ago #152

My condolences on the loss of your mother MustLoveBeagles 20 hrs ago #67

Thank you Maeve 9 hrs ago #153

My heart is with you. Hope22 20 hrs ago #68

I will, thanks Maeve 9 hrs ago #154

Comforting hugs, Maeve radical noodle 20 hrs ago #69

Thank you. DUers are the best! Maeve 1 hr ago #191

I'm so sorry for your loss. area51 19 hrs ago #70

Thank you Maeve 9 hrs ago #159

You are loved. mr715 19 hrs ago #71

I feel it. Thank you Maeve 9 hrs ago #160

Sending all sorts of positive thoughts and prayers Laurelin 19 hrs ago #72

Appreciate it. This thread has helped Maeve 9 hrs ago #161

More tan an ice for you Stinky The Clown 19 hrs ago #73

Thank you Maeve 9 hrs ago #162

I am so sorry, Maeve. My condolences to you and your family. HeartsCanHope 18 hrs ago #74

Appeciate it Maeve 9 hrs ago #163

So sorry, Maeve. summer_in_TX 17 hrs ago #75

Thank you Maeve 9 hrs ago #164

My condolences. You think you're ready, but you're not. DFW 17 hrs ago #76

I have Hubby to see I don't overdo Maeve 9 hrs ago #165

Dear Maeve, I am so sorry for your loss. MIButterfly 17 hrs ago #77

I just had time to realize she was at the end and she was gone Maeve 9 hrs ago #166

Maeve, my heart is with you. ❤️ Silver Gaia 17 hrs ago #78

Thank you so much Maeve 9 hrs ago #167

Surrounding you in Emerald Green healing energy Bread and Circuses 16 hrs ago #79

It is the season for the green, true Maeve 9 hrs ago #168

♥️ 💚 ☘️ 🙏🏻 ♥️ 💚 ☘️ 🙏🏻 a kennedy 15 hrs ago #80

No words needed! Thank you, my friend Maeve 9 hrs ago #169

Restorative Thoughts headed you way. SleeplessinSoCal 15 hrs ago #81

Appreciated Maeve 9 hrs ago #170

🙏 my deepest sympathy 🙏 TommieMommy 12 hrs ago #82

Thank you Maeve 9 hrs ago #171

Sending good vibes your way! (n/t) OldBaldy1701E 11 hrs ago #83

Thank you Maeve 9 hrs ago #172

I am sorry for your loss JoseBalow 10 hrs ago #118

Thank you Maeve 9 hrs ago #173

deepest condolences ... sarchasm 9 hrs ago #156

Appreciate it. I will Maeve 9 hrs ago #174

I am so sorry Maeve jfz9580m 9 hrs ago #157

I have been in charge of Mom's finances for several years Maeve 8 hrs ago #175

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. Nevilledog 8 hrs ago #177

Just the love y'all have shown in this thread is sufficient Maeve 1 hr ago #189

I am truly sorry for your loss. Erda 8 hrs ago #178

Appreciated, thanks Maeve 1 hr ago #190

Very sorry for your loss dlk 8 hrs ago #179

I feel you MaineNative 7 hrs ago #180

Welcome to DU, MaineNative. calimary 2 hrs ago #185

Thank you Maeve 1 hr ago #192

Just remember to give yourself some time Old Crank 7 hrs ago #181

I will, thank you Maeve 1 hr ago #193

(((BIG HUG))) proud patriot 5 hrs ago #182

Thank you, I needed that Maeve 1 hr ago #194

Thoughts and prayers on their way, air mail special delivery. Permanut 3 hrs ago #183

We often think it will be easier, knowing they lived so long. Not so. Thank you Maeve 1 hr ago #195

Thanks for letting us know, Maeve. calimary 2 hrs ago #186

I've known some of you for the better part of 25 years. I trusted that you'd lift me up, and I was right! Maeve 1 hr ago #196

My sincere sympathy at the loss of your mother. No matter how old we are we will always miss them. pazzyanne 1 hr ago #188

Much appreciated Maeve 1 hr ago #197