ART OF THE DEAL! Newsom University is offering 2 FREE NEWSOM STEAKS with enrollment! YES! USA! USA! [View all]
Governor Newsom Press Office
@GovPressOffice
HUGE NEWS FOR “MY GUYS AND GALS”!!! NEWSOM UNIVERSITY IS OPENING VERY SOON. ENROLLMENT IS ALREADY THROUGH THE ROOF. EVERYBODY WANTS IN (EVEN THE LOSERS) BUT ONLY THE SMARTEST, MOST TALENTED STUDENTS WILL BE ACCEPTED (NO LOW IQ DING-DONGS LIKE JD “JUST DANCE” VANCE OR LAURA “LOW RATINGS” INGRAHAM). NEWSOM UNIVERSITY WILL BE THE MOST INCREDIBLE CAMPUS THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN, TRUST ME THAT I'VE HIRED THE BEST CONTRACTORS TO BUILD. COURSES INCLUDE THE ART OF "MAPS," HOW TO TRIGGER “SLUMPY” SEAN HANNITY (VERY EASY COURSE, DAY ONE!), ADVANCED HAIR GEL APPLICATION (TAUGHT BY THE BEST), AND HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL LIKE ME — GAVIN C. NEWSOM — AMERICA’S “HOTTEST” GOVERNOR (MANY PEOPLE SAY IT, NOT JUST ME!). DING DING, THE SCHOOLBELL RINGS — CLASSES START THIS FALL!!! MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING "THANK YOU! THANK YOU DEAR GOVERNOR!!!" TO WHICH I SAY, YOU’RE WELCOME, AMERICA!!! — GCN
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