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Zorro

(17,855 posts) Thu Aug 14, 2025, 11:22 AM Aug 14

Frito-Lay CEO Gifts Trump Gold Funyun [View all]

WASHINGTON—In a gesture many critics have decried as yet another blatant bribe to secure favorable regulatory treatment, Frito-Lay CEO Steven Williams presented President Donald Trump this week with a 24-karat, solid gold Funyun.

“The president has long voiced his desire to own a golden, crunchy onion, and we knew it would be our privilege to make that a reality for one of the greatest dealmakers in history,” said Williams to reporters as a beaming Trump proudly moved the gold Funyun sculpture to a permanent spot on the Resolute Desk.

“This expertly crafted artwork reflects how much we at Frito-Lay respect the president’s unwavering commitment to protecting the freedoms of American snackers and snack makers alike. We hope that here, under your visionary stewardship, this Funyun will stand as a tribute to our shared commitment to bold, flavorful action.”

At press time, Frito-Lay has pledged to donate $26 million in Funyuns, Ruffles, Munchos, and Cool Ranch Doritos to the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library.

https://theonion.com/frito-lay-ceo-gifts-trump-gold-funyun/

42 replies

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Highlight:

Frito-Lay CEO Gifts Trump Gold Funyun [View all] Zorro Aug 14 OP

A big zero for the pedo hero? Brainfodder Aug 14 #1

Damn Frito Lay! BigMin28 Aug 14 #3

it's The Onion, it is satire Celerity Aug 14 #7

But it COULD be true! BidenRocks Aug 14 #38

Thank gawd it's the Onion! SheltieLover Aug 14 #2

But we had to cheeck! niyad Aug 14 #22

Yes, with the greedy patriarchs in control at the moment, one never knows SheltieLover Aug 14 #23

will no longer buy Frito lay vapor2 Aug 14 #4

Fritos are dead to me. FalloutShelter Aug 14 #6

it's The Onion, it is satire Celerity Aug 14 #10

At $6 a bag? BidenRocks Aug 14 #39

it's The Onion, it is satire Celerity Aug 14 #9

It's the Onion! SheltieLover Aug 14 #26

This message was self-deleted by its author MrWowWow Aug 14 #5

it's The Onion, it is satire Celerity Aug 14 #11

How do people not get this immediately? I'm gobsmacked. ms liberty Aug 14 #14

it both saddens and frightens me Celerity Aug 14 #15

I bought it until it said 'solid gold funyun' EYESORE 9001 Aug 14 #17

The trouble is, there is so much actual insanity happening every single day, niyad Aug 14 #30

That's it exactly. It's harder for satire to keep up with the actual outrageous shit happening every day. liberalla Aug 14 #42

On an article from The Onion, THE finest satire publication in America? ms liberty Aug 14 #12

Now he won't need the proverbial rolling donut. eShirl Aug 14 #8

... SheltieLover Aug 14 #27

This thread (not the OP) is just so dismaying, on balance, atm. Celerity Aug 14 #13

I find it hilarious. yardwork Aug 14 #28

Fooking hell! MenloParque Aug 14 #16

It's The Onion, not AI. Oh, and it is "site", not "sight". Accuracy is niyad Aug 14 #20

Thanks Hoss!! MenloParque Aug 14 #24

Accuracy applies to screen names as well. niyad Aug 14 #32

Funyons and Hot Pockets Aviation Pro Aug 14 #18

I had to check the link. niyad Aug 14 #19

Are sure it wasn't a "bony-on"? imanamerican63 Aug 14 #21

Snicker niyad Aug 14 #25

Glad it's satire Faux pas Aug 14 #29

This message was self-deleted by its author sinkingfeeling Aug 14 #31

Cheatos would also make a great gift. twodogsbarking Aug 14 #33

It's really sad that Bettie Aug 14 #34

That's so true it does seem very Tree Lady Aug 14 #41

Stupid Frito-Lay giving in like that! Torchlight Aug 14 #35

This message was self-deleted by its author AllaN01Bear Aug 14 #36

Stop that! Stop that! Ray Bruns Aug 14 #37

Could be true NewEnglandAutumn Aug 14 #40