Spurious News: West Palm Beach McDonald's receives "unbelievably large" DoorDash order! [View all]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (Spurious News Network) -- King Donald Trump promised he'd be the Crypto President during his quixotic 2024 re-election campaign.
"He kept his promise on this one," said Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-TX). "No one can figure out what the fuck this asshole is doing."
But having an indecipherable administration isn't the only crypto thing he's doing. He's also been selling cryptocurrency named after himself. For one of his latest offerings, he had a contest in which the top 220 buyers of the coin - which is currently roughly as valuable as Enron stock - would receive a gala dinner with King Donald at his Palm Beach golf resort.
What he didn't tell them was what they'd be eating when they got there.
The shift manager of the McDonald's restaurant at 2501 North Dixie Highway, Palm Beach, which is located less than five miles from Trump's golf course, reports that he received an order for "150 Big Macs, 150 Quarter-Pounders with Cheese, 75 McChicken sandwiches, 75 Filet-o-Fish sandwiches, 150 six-piece Chicken McNuggets, 100 McCrispy Chicken Strips, 300 medium fries, and 220 Apple Pies, to be delivered via the DoorDash food delivery service. Twenty cases of Diet Coke, a pallet of Heinz Ketchup and enough ice cream to give everyone in attendance one scoop while King Donald has two were delivered to the resort earlier this morning.
And, as it turned out, Trump wasn't the one who ordered it. An officer on his Secret Service detail is.
"Look at it this way," said the agent. "The people who will be in that room have collectively lost about $9 million gambling on Trump's coin. If you think we're going to feed 220 people who are pissed-off at the president over losing their asses on his stupid bitcoin a meal you need a knife to cut you are out of your damn mind."
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