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3Hotdogs

(14,817 posts)
Fri Aug 15, 2025, 09:07 AM Aug 2025

Advice requested. We were lovers at one time, but still friends after 50 years.

I visit her and her husband about every 6 weeks since they moved to assisted living, about two hours away.

To the point - She had knee replacement in October and hasn't; recovered from it. She can't get out of her wheelchair and needs help with toilet and so forth. Before the surgery, she followed instructions for pre-operation exercises and after surgery, she faithfully took rehab. No improvement.

So, on Wednesday, she went for an MRI to maybe find a cause for why she has no muscle control. She was looking forward to this in hope of a cure.

If the news was good, I would have expected a phone call, email or text. Neither her nor her husband have communicated. Maybe there hasn't been a follow-up appointment with her physician or maybe the news was that the MRI disclosed nothing.

Should I call to ask about it? If I don't, would it seem like I don't care?

Thoughts?

8 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Advice requested. We were lovers at one time, but still friends after 50 years. (Original Post) 3Hotdogs Aug 2025 OP
If you've been friends for 50 years I think calling to find out what happened is the normal thing to do. They let you ratchiweenie Aug 2025 #1
Thx. See my update. 3Hotdogs Aug 2025 #6
Call !!!! Karadeniz Aug 2025 #2
Thx. See my update post. 3Hotdogs Aug 2025 #7
Call and don't think twice. c-rational Aug 2025 #3
Thx. See my update post. 3Hotdogs Aug 2025 #8
call her cyclonefence Aug 2025 #4
I called her and the news isn't good. 3Hotdogs Aug 2025 #5

ratchiweenie

(8,143 posts)
1. If you've been friends for 50 years I think calling to find out what happened is the normal thing to do. They let you
Fri Aug 15, 2025, 09:15 AM
Aug 2025

know when she was going for the MRI so I don't think it is pushy to call and ask what they found out.

cyclonefence

(5,133 posts)
4. call her
Fri Aug 15, 2025, 02:18 PM
Aug 2025

unless there is something you're not telling us about your relationship?

Are you in love with her? And afraid your asking will indicate more than friendly interest? If that's it, forget about it and call her anyway.

3Hotdogs

(14,817 posts)
5. I called her and the news isn't good.
Sat Aug 16, 2025, 10:30 PM
Aug 2025

MRI showed a problem with her spine and initial information is that she will never walk again. She will get a formal report from the neurologist sometime this week.

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