Is that a parakeet in your pants, or are you glad to see me?

[mahatmakanejeeves]

Man accused of smuggling protected parakeets in his underwear

Border agents say an American traveling from Mexico hid protected orange-fronted parakeets in his underwear and claimed the bulge was merely his natural appendage.

November 16, 2025 at 12:49 a.m.


One of the two sedated parakeets authorities say a man attempted to smuggle into the U.S. from Mexico on Oct. 23. (U.S. attorney's office for the Southern District of California)

By Kelly Kasulis Cho

When Customs and Border Protection Officers asked Jesse Agus Martinez about the suspicious bulge in his pants, he claimed that the protrusion was natural — using a Spanish word for a male appendage. But on further inspection, officers say they found two heavily sedated parakeets in his underwear.

{snip}

Man Who Stuffed Parakeets in His Pants Faces Smuggling Charge

The man was found with the heavily sedated birds in his underwear as he crossed the border from Mexico in late October, federal prosecutors said.

By Aimee Ortiz
Nov. 15, 2025


A photograph released by the U.S. Department of Justice showing the sedated parakeets after they were confiscated. U.S. Department of Justice


One of the captive birds being removed from a sack. U.S. Department of Justice

When Jesse Agus Martinez crossed the border from Mexico into Southern California in late October, he said he had nothing on him. ... Then a U.S. Customs and Border Protection officer noticed a bulge in Mr. Martinez’s pants.

Mr. Martinez, 35, was indicted on a federal smuggling charge on Friday, weeks after he was found with two heavily sedated orange-fronted parakeets in his trousers, the U.S. attorney’s office for the Southern District of California said in a news release. ... If convicted, he faces potential penalties of a fine of up to $250,000 and a maximum of 20 years in prison.

The birds, which are a protected species that are native to Mexico, were found on or about Oct. 23 “apparently unconscious but breathing” in two sacks, according to federal prosecutors.

Mr. Martinez, a U.S. citizen residing in Mexico who was caught in September trying to bring a parrot into the country, “claimed several times” that the bulge was his penis, according to court records, but when customs officers patted him down, he told them he had birds in his groin area.

A U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service inspector identified the birds as protected parakeets, and they were placed in a cage with food and water, according to court records.

{snip}

[tirebiter]

1. I had the same job offered to me in 1975 when I mentioned that I was going to South America.

Birds were the item to be smuggled. I gave it a pass, not knowing the territory.

[FalloutShelter]

2. OMG

Budgie smugglers are a real thing. I just thought it was what Aussies called men’s Speedos.

[twodogsbarking]

3. Are those Certs in your pocket or are you glad to see me.