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The Borowitz Report: Mark Kelly Records Video Telling Bartenders They Are Allowed to Refuse Hegseth's Orders
Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/mark-kelly-records-video-telling
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senator Mark Kelly released a new online video on Thursday reminding the nation’s bartenders that they are allowed to refuse Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s orders.
Staring stonily into the camera, the former astronaut warned that, if Hegseth appears to be above the legal blood-alcohol limit, any additional drink request would constitute an illegal order.
“Our laws are clear: you can refuse illegal orders,” he told the bartenders. “You must refuse illegal orders.”
Kelly concluded the video with one final urgent plea to the mixologists: "If Hegseth’s behavior is belligerent, his words are slurred, and his makeup is smeared, you must refuse his orders."
- short article, no more at link -
Staring stonily into the camera, the former astronaut warned that, if Hegseth appears to be above the legal blood-alcohol limit, any additional drink request would constitute an illegal order.
“Our laws are clear: you can refuse illegal orders,” he told the bartenders. “You must refuse illegal orders.”
Kelly concluded the video with one final urgent plea to the mixologists: "If Hegseth’s behavior is belligerent, his words are slurred, and his makeup is smeared, you must refuse his orders."
Good one Andy!
The Borowitz Report is generated 100% by AB (Andy Borowitz) and 0% by AI.
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