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Mike Johnson Is Unaware Of The Earth Being Cast Into Total Darkness. Hey, He's Been Busy.
https://www.wonkette.com/p/mike-johnson-is-unaware-of-the-earthGary Legum
I guess this could be filed under "dark humor" but I couldn't find that forum.
Okay, we’ll take some questions now. Martha?
Well, I haven’t seen a proposal of any sort. Again, we have plenty of plans for healthcare. Excellent plans. We always were going to present them in October and November and see if we could hash something out. Anyone who says otherwise is a dirty liar. But the Democrats must reopen the government first. Our hands are tied until that happens.
Jim?
No, I don’t know any of the details about the president demanding the government pay him $230 million. I just heard about it a minute ago. I’m going to want to look into the details and get back to you tomorrow. We’ve got a lot going on around here.
Elizabeth?
No, I haven’t seen the president’s tweets today. I’ve been a little busy.
Well, thank you for that description. What do I say to that? I’d say that the president uses social media for satire better than anyone. I’m sure the video of ... what was it again? Right. I’m sure the video of Hakeem Jeffries strapped to the Capitol dome while crows pecked out his liver was meant in jest. People get so excited about this stuff, it’s ridiculous. I wish they would get as excited about pressuring Democrats to let us get back to work.
What kind of message do I think it sends? Again, I haven’t seen it, so I won’t comment on its explicitness or whether it might traumatize small children. You know what really traumatizes small children? Transgender people. Maybe go ask the Democrats if shutting down the government is worth traumatizing our kids.
. . .
Well, I haven’t seen a proposal of any sort. Again, we have plenty of plans for healthcare. Excellent plans. We always were going to present them in October and November and see if we could hash something out. Anyone who says otherwise is a dirty liar. But the Democrats must reopen the government first. Our hands are tied until that happens.
Jim?
No, I don’t know any of the details about the president demanding the government pay him $230 million. I just heard about it a minute ago. I’m going to want to look into the details and get back to you tomorrow. We’ve got a lot going on around here.
Elizabeth?
No, I haven’t seen the president’s tweets today. I’ve been a little busy.
Well, thank you for that description. What do I say to that? I’d say that the president uses social media for satire better than anyone. I’m sure the video of ... what was it again? Right. I’m sure the video of Hakeem Jeffries strapped to the Capitol dome while crows pecked out his liver was meant in jest. People get so excited about this stuff, it’s ridiculous. I wish they would get as excited about pressuring Democrats to let us get back to work.
What kind of message do I think it sends? Again, I haven’t seen it, so I won’t comment on its explicitness or whether it might traumatize small children. You know what really traumatizes small children? Transgender people. Maybe go ask the Democrats if shutting down the government is worth traumatizing our kids.
. . .
Many more - getting weirder and weirder.