Elon ain't happy.

[Swede]

it’s genuinely reassuring to me that this is the most miserable and paranoid person in the entire world

— onion person (@junlper.beer) 2026-02-05T01:16:47.456Z

[newdeal2]

1. Still hurt that he wasn't invited to Epstein's wildest parties

Too much even for pedo island.

[wcmagumba]

2. No shite...what an incredible boor and imbecile...

If I had that money I would spend my days donating and helping others...with some traveling worked in there...

[BidenRocks]

20. Don't put my name on anything!

My only request.

[GopherGal]

3. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

[Beetwasher.]

4. Poor baby

[purr-rat beauty]

5. Well....he can take himself

....out of our poor ass misery

And stop welfare queening off our tax dollar!

[UpInArms]

6. Soulless piece of shit

I can only hope his misery never ends

[niyad]

9. Now see, I would like it to end. Today would be good. Ohhh, sorry, I thought

you meant OUR misery about this waste of oxygen.

[SheltieLover]

13. ...

[UpInArms]

18. I can only hope our misery

ends soon … his … not so much

[Hugin]

40. That would make me smile more.

I will leave it at that.

[durablend]

7. Pity

And after he stole everyone's information and probably sold it on the dark web.

JUMP

[niyad]

8. Interesting how many people, just in the first few comments I read,

think he is going to off himself. Would be great, but I think he is too selfish, too manipulative, playing, "ohhhh woeeeee is meeeeeee".

[Leghorn21]

10. HA HA, 1000 replies in a couple of hours!!?

Hey mush, people are catching on
Your little worshippers might be figuring out you’re an actual piece of shit, OH NOES

[kellytore]

11. But it can buy elections and our personal information.

[Enter stage left]

12. Call the whaaaaaambulance...

Poor baby!

[mzmolly]

14. I'm thrilled he's miserable.

He should try being a decent human.

[Klarkashton]

15. Wherever this is headed with that guy I hope there is

No intervention or counseling..

[Joinfortmill]

16. Ha! TickTock, you ain't seen nothin yet!

[littlemissmartypants]

17. Is he still breathing?

[usonian]

19. There's a cure. GIVE IT ALL AWAY!!

Will it make him happy?

Well, there's an old joke, modified for Elon.

Elon is obnoxious.
How obnoxious is he?
He's so obnoxious that the Dalai Lama punched him out.

[Wednesdays]

21. "I don't think you're happy enough."

[ZDU]

30. BRILLIANT! LMMFAO

[Baitball Blogger]

22. Sooo...he thought he could get away with anything because of his money, then.

Thought as much.

Wonder what he's afraid of...

[Deuxcents]

23. France is gonna make him *real* happy when the contents of his Paris office comes to the light

His computers, gadgets, documents, etc were confiscated as he’s been under investigation for a while now..child porno, if I remember correctly

[Swede]

39. He's fucked!

Couldn't happen to a nicer oligarch.

[orangecrush]

24. Self inflicted

[dweller]

25. Cry harder

Nazi shit weasel


✌🏻

[GoCubsGo]

26. If it makes you that miserable, then send it all to me, motherfucker.

Hell, just give me 1% of it. It might not buy me happiness, but some new flooring would be nice. I could use a new sofa, too, among MANY other things.

[UTUSN]

27. "Elon ain't happy." - K&R for, Maybe Mars would be better?!1

[Blues Heron]

28. Fuck that Nazi, why doesn't he slither away and stop inflicting himself on the rest of us. Go to mars prick

[roamer65]

29. Eloon the Pedo.

[ZDU]

31. #sad

#boohoo
#squishsquish
#

[LSparkle]

32. Pauvre petit Lone Skum ...

No one wants to be his pal. Sad.

[Hassler]

33. Maybe he'll be cellmates with Andrew Windsor

[struggle4progress]

34. Moving to Mars might make the man merrier

[Cha]

35. Whoa.. That Makes Me Happy!

That's weird... Isn't that admitting he's in Deep Shit Over his Paris X Offices being Raided?

TY Swede

[Justice matters.]

36. oooh lil privileged baby who defrauded three hundred million citizen

by stealing their private personal data is crying nobody likes him...

boohoohoo

[calimary]

37. GOOD.

That is all.

[stonecutter357]

38. Chomo asking for help !!

[Liberal In Texas]

41. Good. And Tesla stock is taking a nose dive.

https://www.marketwatch.com/investing/stock/tsla