Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

Tastelessly blown up by a cartoon turtle with an RPG?

Doctors removed that ugly growth atop his neck?

Wandered until he starved to death when he couldn't find his place card in the Mar a Lago banquet hall?


Just fucking died already for literally any reason at all?

[hlthe2b]

1. "Let me at 'em"

[2MuchNoise]

2. Fell asleep at the dinner table and drowned when he faceplanted in the puddle of ketchup on his plate.

[surfered]

3. No, but based upon this photo, he's getting closer

[Dave Bowman]

6. Hey, faster grim reaper!

[SheltieLover]

8. Already looks dead, imo.

[Orrex]

9. I'm amazed that he hasn't had the photographer executed

[SheltieLover]

10. "Off with his head," the drama queen will demand!

If he were a decent person, I'd be concerned about elder abuse.

[MiHale]

21. Wait just a sec....his hat...

Says America is Back…he’s done fixing America….SO QUIT AND GET LOST.

[Coldwater]

4. Everyone would immediately know who they were talking about

wearing this hat

[electric_blue68]

27. BWAH!

[Dave Bowman]

5. Yeah, and just before dying he swallowed a bag of popcorn kernels.

The cremation will be epic.

[electric_blue68]

28. Obh, Nooooes!

Crematorium Staffer to another:
"Wait... Do you hear that?".
CS2: "What?"
CS1: "That"....
CS2 pauses, and listens.
CS2: "Umm...is that popcorn popping??!!!".
CS1: "Omg! I think you're right!".

[SheltieLover]

7. Stuck in an MRI indefinitely?

Spontaneosly fell asleep and smothered in his mc donald's grease burger? ( https://www.democraticunderground.com/100220839408 )

[BlueKota]

11. Well at least it's pretty easy to guess,

what's on alot of Christmas wishlists this year!

[LetMyPeopleVote]

15. We are all dreaming of a Christmas without trump and I am Jewish

[LetMyPeopleVote]

12. Liberation day is coming

[Phentex]

13. Bitten by rabid partridge

and then we can really celebrate the holidays

[GopherGal]

29. And future generations of American children will learn the song

and why Americans started celebrating Christmas by decorating pear trees.

[sop]

14. Abducted and probed by the real aliens...

[stage left]

24. I wouldn't mind being abducted

If we can leave out the probing and I can take my daughter, her dog, and my cat.

[twodogsbarking]

16. S.I.D.S.--- Super Idiot Death Surprise.

[Blumancru]

17. Finds out Mar a Lago is a Spanish phrase. Has stroke.

A coffin large enough can’t be found. He is given an enema and then fits in a used KFC bucket.
Mailorderia bats eyelashes at Mark Kelly but is rejected.

[Blumancru]

18. Finds out Mar a Lago is a Spanish phrase. Has stroke.

A coffin large enough can’t be found. He is given an enema and then fits in a used KFC bucket.
Mailorderia bats eyelashes at Mark Kelly but is rejected.

[70sEraVet]

19. I found this Christmas card for you, Orrex!

[Marcuse]

20. Boys in the newsroom got a running bet.

[murielm99]

22. No trolls today?

[stage left]

23. Unfortunately not.

But we can dream.

[Blue Owl]

25. Treated by a "non-professional" nurse

[niyad]

26. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

Still, the day is yet young. One dares to dream.

[True Dough]

30. This belongs here: