I very Well Could have been an Epstein victim

[proud patriot]

I very Well Could have been an Epstein victim , but I was someone else's victim back in 89.
I was a student at DVC and I saw sign on the bulletin board for a modeling job
with "California Girls" . I called the number . At 19 I traveled alone to a giant
house where I was courted with all the rock stars I would see in my job .
He served sushi (yuck) I pretended to like it.

Then he said He needed some pictures and led me to his Garage that was made into a photo shoot
place full of racks of Skimpy Lingerie . I posed for pictures in said lingerie. What happened next
I'm super ashamed of . suffice to say I did not go back. shortly after I dropped out of College and
self destructed into Crank for a year. I have never Told anyone , I just told Proud hubby for the
first time (tears) .

Why did it take til I'm 56 to find the Courage to speak and realize that I was a targeted victim of a
predator? Well if those Epstein survivors can stand up to the POWERFUL Billionaire Child sex
trafficking Cabal I can tell my Truth. The Epstein survivors ARE HEROES .

Let's believe the survivors .

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear proud patriot!

You are both a patriot and a hero! Blessings on you!

[proud patriot]

81. I want to thank everyone Especially my dear friend Peggy

Reading this thread all the stories has truly been a healing process for me.

there were a lot of healing tears yesterday.

Living so many years thinking it was my mistake, my fault to suddenly realize
I wasn't to blame at all. Learning that the survival mechanism I used to leave w/o harm
is a common response . I am so thankful for DU's wisdom.

Thank You DU . You rock .

I am not alone , while it saddens me that so many have similar or even worse experiences.
I am comforted by your presence .

[yardwork]

2. I'm very sorry that happened to you.

[jfz9580m]

3. So sorry about what happened to you.nt

[Bayard]

4. You are a survivor and a hero yourself, my dear

[Bernardo de La Paz]

16. I went to post something similar, so I'll endorse your post. . . . nt

[JMCKUSICK]

6. Thank you for your courage Proud Patriot

[twodogsbarking]

7. From my understanding most abuse is kept a secret. That is part of the abuse.

Stay strong, for you.

[some_of_us_are_sane]

8. That took courage

Applaud yourself. There's been enough shame.

[colorado_ufo]

9. Thank you for sharing this.

There are thousands more stories like yours - you are not alone.

Please be good to yourself.

Blessings.

[Cha]

10. How brave you are telling

your story now in support of the Epstein Victims.

So brave it made me cry and for all the victims everywhere.. and I'm proud of you.

[leftstreet]

11. It also took strength to hide it for years

Broken people rarely get credit for the courage it takes to put one foot in front of another, year after year after year.

Cheers to you

[niyad]

19. You are absolutely correct.

[yellow dahlia]

36. An important point.

I concur with the sentiment from others regarding courage. I appreciate that proud patriot thought us worthy of her story. Thank you!

[MLAA]

12. I am proud of YOU, dear proud patriot!

[FirstLight]

13. I'm sending huge hugs to you now and your poor 19 year old self!

I had a couple friends who fell into modeling early on and it did not end well for them. I'm glad you're still with us...

Your bravery for speaking up and speaking out is huge. And if there's any residual trauma I hope you get any therapy that you need to release it!

[Demobrat]

14. I had something similar happen.

I was 22 and living on my own in LA. I had hair down to my waist, so I answered an ad in the Hollywood Reporter for a hair model.
I am not going to go into details. It was an audition for a porn flick. I have never told anyone what I did to get out of that room.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

26. FWIW, "I hope you fought back" isn't always helpful to hear, whether they did or not.

[niyad]

60. I do understand that. Whatever one does, or does not do, to save themselves

is the correct thing, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

62. yeah that's a much more supportive sentiment

[proud patriot]

35. I see you

[Demobrat]

64. Thank you.

There are so many of us. So, so many.

[niyad]

15. hugggggggs. I am in awe of your courage, your fortitude, your perseverance.

Thank you for trusting us with your story, for knowing that your DU family is standing with you, here if you need us.

WE BELIEVE THE SURVIVORS!!!

[Coventina]

18. I was approached at a gas station at the same age as you

Asked if I wanted a job modeling.

I had already survived one attempted abduction while I was in high school, so I said no.

It happens more than people think.

[hamsterjill]

20. Thank you for being brave enough to share this.

It's not measured by time. It's measured by strength, courage and healing. I am glad you have finally spoken about this, and I hope doing that helps you.

I don't really have any basis for comparison in my own life other than the usual crap we all put up with at some point in our lives. Uncomfortable encounters, yes, but certainly not harmful like what you've endured. So, I cannot truly understand your pain, but I can sense and feel that pain from all who have endured something like this. I see the suffering.

That said, I wish you a new beginning. A clean slate of love and light. You have nothing to forgive yourself of, but if that could be something you need to do in order to go forward and completely heal - by all means, do it. You did not deserve what happened to you.

Sending hugs, applause for your bravery, and simply sisterhood love.

[sagetea]

21. Oh boy...my heart goes out to you.

It's scary, I'm wrapping you in a blanket of love. Heart to heart. Remember to take a moment and hold your shaking hands together, and breathe.

Sometimes, I wonder if there was some kind of underground network around that time...? I wrote my story here long ago. it's pinned in my bio.

He groomed me from age 11 in 79. (edited, for math). And finally took me in '84. Then my parents married me off to another abuser (didn't know) and was stuck in that marriage until 1988.

I'm still tearing up at your story, as uncomfortable as people are, we have to bring it to light.

You are so brave for sharing, thank you...

Aho`

sage

[Scrivener7]

22. Oh my God. I am so sorry that happened to you, but I am in awe that you

are telling your truth, and I'm so honored you are telling it to us.

You have brought me to tears. Seriously.

You certainly HAVE found courage. You are amazing.

[SalviaBlue]

23. Now you are a HERO too.

[Joinfortmill]

24. Amen, brave one.

[UpInArms]

25. (((((HUGS)))))

You are an awesome strong and wonderful person.

My virtual arms are around you

[JoeOtterbein]

27. I'm sorry....

....tears.

[bamagal62]

28. You are very brave.

I think it could have happened to any of us. There should be no shame. Many hugs to you. ❤️❤️❤️

[joanbarnes]

29. At about 17 or 18 I bolted from what I thought was a 'job interview...'

When I was asked to stand up, show my body and my dance moves. Told my parents, they were supportive but still urged me to keep trying to find a job. Work was so important to our middle class generation, no wonder many victims are duped and trafficked.

[womanofthehills]

40. Back when many of us were young, we expected college professors & bosses to be gross

One of my professors was having sex with 10 girls in our class - he was our mentor. Other teachers knew but no one seemed to care back then.

Sounds like something out of a movie, but a teacher of mine sent me on a job interview. The employer was his friend. Employer had a long table and I was literally running around the table with him in pursuit - till I came close to the door and ran out.

Another married boss of mine got a good job at UNM hospital and had a position open. He asked me for lunch to discuss new job - after lunch he opens side door of his van that is made into a bed- I decline but a woman I knew got the job so I assumed she got into the van.

Back then, we really didn’t tell because it was such a regular occurrence.

[jfz9580m]

63. I have been lucky in my mentors/teachers

Last edited Thu Sep 4, 2025, 10:12 PM - Edit history (1)

I feel very lucky in the scientists and doctors I have met that way..almost no creeps till 2010-2011 and a fairly small number over all even after. And that was before all this creepy surveillance became normal.

Systemic sexism thanks to people you never even see or meet is another matter.
All three of my mentors were thoroughly decent.

The thought of anything that inappropriate with one’s professors/mentors is shocking to me. Or physicians. Those are sacrosanct relationships.

In general life would be impossible with any underlying sexual tension (🤮 ) in any context with any man (from my perspective as a straight woman) except the person you happen to be dating or married to imo.
I can’t even imagine that shit in the workplace. Even the worst workplace I ever saw had none of that kind of creepiness.

(Another really fallacious stereotype is that alcohol or substances and sex go together. Actually rather than sex and drugs, it seems to me sex or drugs is closer to the dull reality of your average white collar drone. It’s actually a coping mechanism tied to workaholism.

I have a slight tendency toward alcoholism inherited from my dad…he like me had a tendency in his youth to drown his work sorrows in alcohol..he was a workaholic.
I would be a workaholic if brute force was enough for work..I am trying that now after a long break from work-14 years almost on the nose..nothing as good for the brain as plain fare work).

My main mentor was one of the best..he mentored a lot of women. We all had a lot of affection for him. I think of him and my last mentor sadly these days wondering how they are faring under this admin. I myself have to go focus on work now after many major upheavals are just settling.


Trump 2.0 ( ) ..I hope we can all survive 3 more years of Trump/Vance.

[mzmolly]

30. I'm sorry.

So many of us have our own stories that are similar. In the 70’s & 80s, we blamed ourselves.

Thank you for sharing your story.

[soldierant]

66. Indeed.

[BComplex]

69. Ouch.

Too many terrifying moments remembered in this picture/post.

I wonder how many girls and women have been abused. I'm guessing that the vast majority of women have been, either as children or grown women. It's heartbreaking. And painful. And very, very wrong on every level.

[chia]

72. PTSD trigger

[soldierant]

82. Apologies.

Of course I intended it for those who need educating, not those of us who already know. And I'm sure Liza - the artist - did the same.

[chia]

83. It's okay. It just hit hard, seeing in print the time I kept saying those things, over and over, to no effect.

To someone familiar to me.

[cate94]

31. Isn't funny that we're ashamed to tell our stories?

And the assholes that perpetrate this shit are probably bragging to their friends? Ugh. I’m glad you are telling your story now. I have a story too. I was 13 and I thought it was somehow my fault. I didn’t tell anyone for a very long time.

[proud patriot]

32. The feedback has been overwhelming

I had no Idea that just by speaking out , I finally opened up
my mind to Grieve for the first time in my life what happened to
me . I've started remembering the results the timeline of my Trauma
dropping out of school and numbing myself with drugs. and other
self destructive things .

I am grateful to DU for the space and love to maybe start healing .

It's wierd I really didn't realize I needed Healing until I said it outloud
and the tears started flowing .

[electric_blue68]

48. I'm pretty sure it wasn't easy, but I think/hope it will lighten the burden of your terrible experience over time.

[IbogaProject]

65. Sorrow shared is halved

Happiness shared is doubled

[ananda]

33. Thank you.

That took courage. Well done!

[Bettie]

34. I'm sorry that happened to you

it happens to more of us than anyone thinks.

[kerry-is-my-prez]

37. At least you stopped yourself from going back.

[kimbutgar]

38. wow i went to DVC in the 70's and can't image the college

would allow a posting like this !

[proud patriot]

49. I think that's why I thought it was real

Anybody could put stuff up with a thumbtack . The flyer looked professional with a picture of the
"California Girls" models . I was lured by $$ and a chance to meet Famous people .

[highplainsdem]

39. I'm so sorry. So many in the modeling and film industries are predators, as are their friends and associates. I once

had the boyfriend of a woman I was friends with set up an appointment for me with an agent doing some casting for a major film. I didn't want to go - had two actress roommates and I knew I did not have their skills and training (Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, Juilliard), so this was asinine - but my friend said I had to go or her much older boyfriend would be upset. Was relieved to discover I was the wrong ethnicity for the speaking roles that were left. My friend Laurie, who'd made sure I went to the appointment, was the right ethnicity, but she didn't want a minor role in the film, either. We thanked the agent for his time and were laughing about it after we left. It stopped being a laughing matter when I got a dozen roses hand delivered by one of her boyfriend's employees a day later, with a handwritten note with his phone number asking me to call him. I'd met him only once, when he'd taken Laurie and myself to lunch at L'Etoile. I called him, thanked him for the appointment I hadn't wanted, was asked out, and turned him down politely because he was too well-connected (owned TV stations and papers, knew the mayor of NYC and a lot of NY/NJ politicians) to want to piss him off. Laurie broke up with him a bit later.

Unlike animal predators, human predators often use bait.

[summer_in_TX]

41. I admire your courage so much!

Falling victim to any kind of abuse causes us to feel such shame. It takes great strength to publicly face what happened.

I hope you find you feel liberated and empowered by standing up and speaking out, like those victimized by Epstein did.

[1WorldHope]

42. You are no where near alone. If we all stood up and screamed together

all over the planet, the earth would shake with our rage. We've been hunted long before we even knew we were prey. Stand up tall and never be silent again.
Fuck those predators! We will be silent no more, the louder we scream the better the young ones will hear us and understand that this world is not yet safe for the innocent.

[MorbidButterflyTat]

51. "We've been hunted

long before we even knew we were prey."

This is so true.

I feel this in my gut and it makes me sick.

[róisín_dubh]

43. I'm really sorry you went through that.

I had two encounters with really disgusting pervert photographers. The first time, like you, I was rather young (20). My boyfriend was with me, and though he waited in the car, which did seem to rankle the "photographers". The sense that I have of the situation, with the benefit of hindsight, was that it was not a good one at all to be in. I took some lingerie photos and left. I burned the photos when they sent them to me.

The second time I was a bit older and some friends had done photoshoots with the guy, so I felt less anxious. Needless to say, when he told me to take off my top, I told him to get fucked and left. But it was only age and experience that gave me any confidence to do that (well and the fact that I could've probably killed him with a couple of good kicks). Apparently a few of my friends took nude photos with him and more...but didn't bother to warn me that I'd be walking into that. Needless to say, I've not spoken to any of them in many years.

ETA: I hope you are able to heal from this and not blame yourself.

[KT2000]

44. We blame ourselves

because we are surrounded by people who blame us for our rapes, sexual assaults, and being preyed upon. If we do speak out we will spend eternity explaining that it was NOT our fault. But the elephant in the room is the expectation of being "good girls" and us having failed at that.
Entitled, protected predators have successfully turned the tables so the victims are to blame.
Enough.
Thank you for speaking up because I know that you just told us something that has haunted you for years. Respect!!

[kerry-is-my-prez]

45. I was attacked twice - once by a date and then from a "friend."

I was molested as a child and was beaten badly by my mother and was an angry kid (and at times an angry adult if I get messed with). My brother used to beat up on me and we used to fight - (probably good training). As a result, I have a secret horrible temper that comes out if I’m getting messed with or see someone else get messed with. It has saved my life several times though. I was a thin blond who appears to be very easy-going so I look like a good mark, I believe, because I’ve had a lot of dangerous things happen to me. I kicked a date until he was cowering in the corner of his car. I also shoved a guy onto a bed and told him to leave in my dorm room. One night there was a man who broke into my house and was standing in my bedroom and I told him to get “the hell out” which he did. My friend got threatened by a guy with a knife and I grabbed it out of his hand and handed it to another guy/bystander. When I lived in Chicago, I’ve also yelled and screamed at a few people on the street who were stalking me including a guy who snatched my purse. In college, a woman was raped in the apartment building next door and I heard someone outside my window in the middle of the night and I got so angry that I went outside with a golf club and screamed “come over here, you rapist asshole!” My roommates started to think I was a little crazy and said they would move out if I got a gun. As a result of this, I will never get a gun because I would use it, I believe. I sometimes scare myself. I continue to be angry about the election and Trump so I will stay away from certain situations.

[58Sunliner]

46. So sorry that happened to you. Please forgive yourself

They groom women from an early age to be acquiescent to this abuse.

[OldBaldy1701E]

47. May you find peace in this revelation.

I wish you all the healing vibes I can send. (Not much, I know.)

[electric_blue68]

50. How hideous for you to be subjected to a predator! And now Brave for telling your story. Hugs to you, a all the women ..

posters here with their own stories of abuse, or scary near misses!

[greatauntoftriplets]

52. Horrific.

It's so good that you got out and never went back.

[canetoad]

53. Good on you!

I'm a bit older than you are, but geez, weren't the 70s and 80s a veritable happy hunting ground for pervs of all types. I barely escaped a few.

[MorbidButterflyTat]

54. You are not alone

I truly hope this helps you.

I've confided parts of my story to people I thought I could trust, but I only ended up feeling hollow and vulnerable.

I have so much anger living inside me and nowhere to put it.

Peace.

[chia]

74. I'm so sorry.

I hope someday that you'll be able to unload all of it. It wasn't until I went to therapy for the first time in my 50s that I finally let go of things I'd been carrying for a very long time. It was very freeing. I hope that for you. Sending you love.

[MorbidButterflyTat]

84. Thank you.

[Wild blueberry]

55. Brava!

Thank you for your courage. You are in good company.
All survivors are creating a force-field to support one another and keep this from happening to anyone else.
Thank you.

[70sEraVet]

56. My wife is an incest survivor

So I've witnessed the pain that women go through, keeping the secret of what they feel is 'their' shame. I'm really sorry for what you went through for all of those years.
My wife opened up about it, realizing that it wasn't HER shame. But, many years later, she still screams in her sleep.
I hope you find healing.

[JohnnyLib2]

57. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You are being listened to here and may it help you going forward.
You've also helped validate the women at the press conference -- and who knows how many more.
Again, thank you.

[malaise]

58. Hugs

Fight for survivors

[Trueblue Texan]

59. Bless you for speaking the truth.

Shame and self-blame is perfectly normal for the abused, as we all know here. Thank you for your courage. I hope you find peace and healing.

[FakeNoose]

61. What happened was in NO WAY your fault, and you need to stop beating yourself up over it

Your innocence was stolen from you at a young age, but at least you got out quickly and cleanly. So many innocent girls in that situation don't even know to get away while they still can.

It makes me sad to think that predators can do so much evil in this country. Girls and young women need to be taught about these awful men (it's mostly men), so they can look for the signs and protect themselves.

I wish more parents were able to speak honestly and warn their daughters (and sons) about the dangers out there.

[William Gustafson]

67. #metoo

[IzzaNuDay]

68. Go and tell your 19 YO self

You were brave, courageous and you did the right thing. And give yourself a big hug!

[BComplex]

70. Proud Patriot, I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Many best wishes for your complete healing, and all the strength growing within you along the way.

[bluboid]

71. the Epstein survivors ABSOLUTELY ARE HEROS!!!

Thank you for speaking truth to power - your experience echos thru the generations of people, women & men, who've survived by stilling & clinging to their inner Soul being. This is not meant as a 'religious' statement but rather as a clue to the healing process that all humanity seeks as we age, female & male.

[chia]

73. You are amazing. Wishing you peace and healing now ❤️

[HeartsCanHope]

75. I'm sorry that happened to you. Thank you for trusting us to hear your truth today.

We believe you, proud patriot!

[Jilly_in_VA]

76. I had something kind of similar happen

I was sitting in a bar in Madison, WI, and somehow ended up talking to one of the owners. I'd talked to him before and didn't think anything of it. He told me he'd been watching me and thought I was pretty and personable and asked if I'd be interested in being an "escort" for men who came to town on business. Well, I wasn't THAT drunk and I told him no, absolutely not. He kept trying to persuade me, telling me I wouldn't have to "do anything" and I could "make lots of money" and "have a good time". I got up and left and never went back there again.

[Festivito]

77. May a bit of truth offer a bit of freedom to heal a bit.

I'm sad you had to wait so long. Be well, more well, as well as can be.

[Clouds Passing]

78. I could have been one too. Our fear and shame saved us. Our courage healed us.

[no_hypocrisy]

79. Very proud of your courage!!

Keep speaking up!

I'm sorry for the experience and the unspoken memories you had to endure.

[MuseRider]

80. HUGS

I think most of us do not get into our older ages without at least some inappropriate grabbing and insinuation and that in itself is disgusting. We ALL had/have to watch where we are all the time, IOW it continues. I wish I had an answer for all those who have not aged out of most of this (thank God I have). From what I have been told aging out can just be a lucky thing.

You never have to tell all of us all of it or even a little bit of it. This remains with you and where the comfort level about telling stands with you. I mean REALLY, is it not enough to have been there and had that done to you? I hope you can rest with this, it NEVER goes away, and they think we are the lucky ones? We should be honored and proud to have been chosen? (beauty pageants etc just seem to feed that little (gem)

[H2O Man]

85. Respect.

Recommended.

And thank you.