More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today: The Big Fugly Presidency

[Fritz67]

So how have things been going since the last one of these stupid little lists?

Elon Musk firing everybody in all of the government agencies that either don't benefit him personally or, worse, might inconvenience him?

The House of Representatives passing a Big Fugly Reverse Robin Hood Bill robbing from the poor to give to the rich?

Trump getting openly and blatantly bribed by Qatar and crypto creeps?

An economy that, six months ago, was the envy of the world going completely to shit?

…

So pretty much what we expected, right?

(No. 71 in an occasional series.)

More Family Values™ Republicans Eligible To Be Appointed To Government By Donald Trump:

Justin Eichorn
Aaron Craig Gleason
Dom Lucre
Andrew Quentin Taake

I've previously posted the entire list to date, but it's become so large and unweildy, from now on I'm only posting the additions. I will still post the entire list in the first column every year from now on. You can see the full list as of January 2025 here

More Reposts and Updates:

* Jay Ashcroft, George HW Bush, George W Bush, Jeb Bush, Buckley Carlson, Peter Doocy, Jerry Falwell Jr, Steve Forbes, Matt Gaetz, Connie Mack IV, Meghan McCain, Rand Paul, Willard Mitt Rmoney, Sarah Sanders, and Donald Trump are all self-made people and don't owe their success to anyone else's prior accomplishments. (#10, Nov. 2012)

* You're a billionaire "Free Speech Absolutist" for racists, transphobes, and seditionists, but not for your own employees, people who make fun of you, journalists who accurately cover your screw-ups, advocates of politican candidates you oppose, and advertisers who AREN'T giving you money. (#57, Sept. 2022)

All-New More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:

* Donald Trump firing the leadership of the FAA and the aviation safety committee a week before a deadly plane crash means that Barack Obama and dwarves were responsible for the crash.

Almost verbatim from Andy Borowitz on Bluesky:
* You strenuously protested when a Black guy you claimed was born in Africa was spending your tax dollars, but are strangely silent now that a white guy who was definitely born in Africa is doing it.

The Tea Party, who strenuously protested when a Black guy they claimed was born in Africa was spending their tax dollars, are strangely silent now that a white guy who was definitely born in Africa is doing it

— The Borowitz Report (@borowitzreport.bsky.social) 2025-02-04T19:32:28.666Z

Similarly...
* Lazy Mexican immigrants are destroying America by stealing our jobs. Elon Musk is saving American by stealing all the data in the Department of Treasury and firing everyone in the federal government.

* "Improving government efficiency": Completely wasting a half billion dollars' worth of food.

* You agree with Donald Trump that an incomprehensibly bad and unfair terrible energy deal with Canada was signed by...er...Donald Trump.

* It's infuriating that other countries respond to Trump's dumb tariffs by fighting back with tariffs of their own.

* Lowest unemployment in half a century, surging GDP, inflation down: "worst economy since the Great Depression"

* The January 6 Riot was a false flag operation from vicious, America-hating members of Antifa, which is why Donald Trump pardoned them all.

* Hillary Clinton's mismanagement of emails: tremendous, unforgiveable breach of security. Pete Hegseth using a civilian messaging app to share sensative war plans where a journalist could see it: no big deal.

While we're at it, I'll just add this here with no further comment:
Waltz and staff used Gmail for government communications, officials say.

* Empathy is a weakness. How dare people laugh at Elon Musk's pain.

* Stuff was too expensive in 2024, and people should stop complaining about the fact that it's even more expensive now.

Kudlow: "Buying cheap goods is not a real prosperity, and we don't have to accept that. So you lay the law down, that's all. Look, all the badly behaving children in Asia and elsewhere are coming home to papa. They're all on the phone begging for mercy."

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) 2025-04-04T20:57:18.055Z

* A man of Cuban ancestry is totally correct to reduce diversity at the State Department.

* The (Republican) president doesn't actually have to follow the Constitution that he swore to "preserve, protect and defend".

* The Pope isn't Catholic enough for you.

Practically verbatim from Paul Krugman:
* Masks are bad and un-American if worn to fight a pandemic. Marks are good if worn by people claiming to be government agents when they kidnap people off the street.

So let me get this straight: masks are bad and un-American if worn to fight a pandemic, but good if worn by people claiming to be government agents when they kidnap people off the street

— Paul Krugman (@pkrugman.bsky.social) 2025-05-10T15:06:22.465Z

* Newest crime: Reporting about the corrupt things Donald Trump's family does.

* You put "I Did That!" stickers on all the gas pumps in 2022, but are livid at the thought that Amazon or Walmart will point out how much Trump's tariffs are raising prices.

* It's unfair to call ICE the Gestapo just because they send masked thugs around to kidnap and deport people with no due process.

Until next time...

[Walleye]

1. You also have to believe that Joe Biden, the most decent man to ever hold the office, was some kind of crook

And that he is immoral. Talk about believing a fantasy, they want to trash the man who gave his whole life in service to this country, and did a great job but now he’s old so beat him up.

[Fritz67]

2. I noticed a long time ago that Republicans don't seem to have any original insults.

We spent eight years calling George W Bush an idiot because he said dumb things and called out the power grabs of his administration’s assertion of “unitary executive powers”, so naturally Republicans tried to call Obama an idiot who wanted to be a dictator. We called Trump a sleazy, corrupt, lazy, senile fascist asshole because he is, so the only things they could think of to call Biden were corrupt, lazy, senile, and a wanna be dictator.

I mean, hell, Trump’s so mentally simple he only has a limited repertoire of childish insults he uses over and over again “Crooked” “Sleepy” “Nasty” etc.

[Walleye]

3. You put your finger on it there, I've said before they don't have an original bone in their head